Beware the Batman quotes

Somebody get the Jaws of Life. Let's cut that guy out.

Hello?... How did you get this number? And how did you reach me? We're 300 feet underground.

Hacked your phone and modified your SIM chip. Gotham PD should get better security for their equipment.

I'll stick that in the suggestion box when I get a chance.

The man in the suit...

Joseph Krimple, AKA Icepick Joe.

What? Who are you talking to? Where am I? Get me out of this thing!

What's your point?

Icepick is one of Tobias Whale's hit-squad goons.

Stay away from Whale, Batman.

Not an option. Just thought you deserved a courtesy call. (Hangs up)

(Dials phone) Rodriquez, it's Gordon. I need you to assemble a... (Dial tone) Hello? Hello? (Looks at phone, says 'No Service' on screen) Batman can get reception, but not me.

Someone is sending Gotham a message, Lieutenant.

How did you get in here? Why do I even ask?

Tobias Whale

(to Batman) Joe didn't show up for work a few nights back. I assumed You happened to him.

Tobias Whale

Escort Mr. Bat out of here boys. Feet first.

Alfred Pennyworth

Oh, sorry, my dear. Rule of thumb. Never sneak up on an old spy while he's making a sandwich.

Computer: last known address of Humpty Dumpty.

A wall.

I'll rephrase.

Barbara Gordon

Hey, Dad. I got us that low-fat low-salt corn-beef hash you like.

Barb, you know I happen to like the one with extra fat and extra salt.

Tatsu Yamashiro

Is this a good idea? Are you sure Mr. Wayne is out of town on business?

Alfred Pennyworth

Oh, Mr. Wayne is almost always out on some kind of business. Best to make the most of it.

I never wanted this, I never wanted to hurt anyone. But they dragged me into the middle of their war. Lieutenant Gordon, Tobias Whale, THEIR war. I just wanna go back to play with my numbers and my toys, but I can't. I can't go back.

Humpty... Humpfrey, we can sort this out. (Humpty Dumpty has disappeared, and climbed to the tower) You're right, they dragged you into their war, but that's still not justification for what you've done.

You're a lot of fun. You're the best fun I've had in years. (Laughs) All the kings horses, and all the king's men can't put Humpfrey Dumpler back together again. (Humpty falls off the tower, and Batman fails to grab him. He falls to the ground, and breaks into a thousand pieces, being a decoy of plaster. Batman is shown holding a disconnected arm.)

Lieutenant Gordon, come in.

Go ahead.

All the bomb statue-suits down here suddenly deactivated. We can cut them out safely now.

Why would Humpty Dumpty do that? Just let them all go like that?

Humpty's broken, but that doesn't make him pure evil.

Lovely. Did you get that from your costumed vigilante book of proverbs?

He lost the battle, and he's walking away honorably. But something tells me, the war is far from over.

Alfred Pennyworth

Uh, Bruce, exactly what did we purchase in there?

Bruce Wayne

Hormone-free bovine glands. I'm experimenting with my body's need for sleep. Currently it's four hours. I'd like to get it down to two. Certain glands are rich in adrenals.

Alfred Pennyworth

Very good. I look forward to blending them up for you.

Sapphire, we shouldn't be doing this here.

I don't care. [resumes kissing; Rex stops] What?

Your father is Simon Stagg. My boss. One of the wealthiest men in Gotham. You're his only daughter and I...

I don't care what the world sees. I know the man you are inside. That's who I love. Don't worry about Daddy. He's gonna love you, just like I do, Rex Mason.

Bruce Wayne

Don't say one word.

Alfred Pennyworth

What, and make you even more flustered?

Bruce Wayne

I'm not flustered. I'm not!

Alfred Pennyworth

Don't worry. I'll keep your bovine glands on ice.

Bruce Wayne

Please tell me you packed my Batsuit.