Mike Ehrmantraut quotes from Better Call Saul

Bruce had the speed. He could kick you before you saw him move.

Yeah, but watch the Liston fight.

We're talking about what, boxing? Because that's something else.

No, we're talking about a street fight.

Street fight? Great, so Bruce can kick!

No, we're not talking about a movie fight. We're talking about weight, we're talking about reach.

Boxing is a sport. Martial arts is life and death.

Look, I don't care how fast you are, Muhammad Ali hits you, you going down. That's a fact.

If he hits you. Bruce Lee – he knows the anatomy, he's got the moves, he's gonna find an opening.

Without power, the–the opening doesn't mean squat. How much does he weigh?

I dunno, maybe a buck thirty.

Ali was the heavyweight champ. He's got at least a hundred pound on Lee.

Bruce feints Ali's hit, but he goes low when he sweeps into the deck. Ali goes down hard, it's all over!

[scoffs]

Mike

Does he have a gun?

I'm sorry?

Mike

Does Bruce Lee have a gun? Because if he doesn't, it's Ali in three minutes or less.

See? That's what I'm saying.

Mike

I waltz through security with someone else's ID. Nobody gives me a second look. When the rightful owner shows up, there's no facility-wide badge check. I find access doors left unlocked or propped open, passwords written on Post-it notes. Warehouse workers are using pen and paper instead of electronic inventory devices, which leaves you wide open to pilfering. You got duplicate routing numbers on cargo, surveillance camera blind spots on the north and the east side of the floor, inventory documents that are going into the trash instead of being shredded, not to mention loading equipment being driven at unsafe speeds and crews disregarding safe—

Wait, wait, hold on, hold on. Who are you, exactly?

Mike

Ehrmantraut. Security consultant.

Well, all due respect, I don't know anything about a security consultant.

Mike

Well, you wouldn't, would you? Maybe you'd best call corporate. Try Lydia Rodarte-Quayle.

Mike

...And?

Jimmy

What if I told you you could turn this piece of crap into four grand, for each of us, minimum? This little fella, he's called the "Merry Wanderer." He's not much to look at, he's pretty easy to find. I got this one at a pawn shop on 4th for twenty bucks. But, he has a cousin called "Bavarian Boy," almost identical—same umbrella, same swagger. That one is worth a boatload.

Mike

And I gather you know where to find a Bavarian Boy?

Jimmy

I do indeed. He's gathering dust on a shelf in an office up on San Mateo and he's been there for God knows how long and they have no idea what they've got. To them, it's not Bavarian Boy, it's just some piece of junk Grandma gave me that I feel too guilty to get rid of. And that's where you come in. Now, this place I'm talking about, they're not exactly what you call security-conscious. There's no cameras whatsoever. There's an alarm on the door that I could probably bridge. And past that, you just pick a lock and walk over to the shelf and swap this Wanderer for that Boy. It's five minutes, max.

Warm-up, gentlemen?

Mike

Yeah, thanks, Fran.

Jimmy

Wow, thanks.

[regarding the figurine] That's cute.

Jimmy

Isn't it, though?

Yeah. Have your food out in a jiff, Mike.

Jimmy

[sighs] Look. They're not even going to know it's gone. They look over at the shelf, they just see the same dumb tchotchke staring at 'em they've been looking at for years. There's no serial number. These things are practically untraceable. You send Pryce or some other schlub down to Dallas, next week they're having a collectibles expo. Those people are hungry for Hummels. I mean, their eyes are gonna pop when they see what we've brung 'em. And they will pay through the nose, which we will split fifty-fifty. So? It's perfect, right? We make some nice Hummel-loving lady happy, and we make a bundle. Let's do something beautiful here.

Mike

And how did you come across this valuable wunderkind?

Jimmy

What difference does it make?

Mike

Guys in the office cross you? Done you wrong?

Jimmy

[scoffs] What? You're, uh, missing the point! It's free money! You walk by a twenty on the sidewalk? No, you pick it up.

Mike

[beat] Pass.

Jimmy

What? Why?

Mike

It's not for me.

Jimmy

Not for you? Is there some problem I'm not seeing, like, with the swap or something?

Mike

Plan's fine as far as it goes, it's just not for me. And I don't think it should be for you, either. [beat] I'm sorry about your brother.

Jimmy

Yeah, thanks. What, you're really not gonna do this?

Mike

Sorry.

I keep trying to get there, you know, to live in the here and now. I know that's what Judy would have wanted, but it's... hard. This guy at work, I've been avoiding him for the past two weeks, ever since he got back from his vacation to Australia. [pause] She always wanted to go to Sydney, but money was tight. Finally, we were gonna go, for our 25th... and that's when she got her test results.

Mike

Oh, God...

Mike? You have something you want to add?

Mike

You don't wanna hear what I have to say.

Well, we're ready if you are.

Mike

Yeah? This guy was never married.

...What are you talking about?

Mike, now, you know the rules-

Mike

Yeah, I know your rules. He's been coming in here for months, selling you a bill of goods, getting you all misty-eyed and loving every minute of it-

Stacey

[nudges Mike] Pop.

Mike

[to Stacey] Stop.

That's just not true.

Mike

Yeah? Okay, so I'll go to the public library, and I'll get the papers from 1997 and I'll run a search on Judy DeVore, beloved wife of Henry DeVore. Tell me I'll find her obituary. She wanted to go to Australia? Well, last month it was Cuba. Come on, Henry. Let's look at the papers, see if the math works–

Come on. Mike.

Mike

She's not there, is she? Go on...say it. You have no shame.

Mike

...Well. He came to the right place, didn't he? He knew you wouldn't notice, and you didn't. All wrapped up in your sad little stories, feeding off each other's misery. [beat] You wanted me to talk. I talked.

Mike

You wanted to see me, here I am.

Gus

In order for our arrangement to continue, there is a matter we need to discuss.

Mike

Okay.

Gus

Do you have something to tell me? [pause] If you do, you would be well-advised to do so.

Mike

Nacho Varga. I wondered when you were gonna get around to this.

Gus

You came to me. You asked me for a favor. You looked me in the eye, you shook my hand. And all the while, you knew Varga was moving against my interests.

Mike

I said I wouldn't kill Salamanca. I never promised to be his bodyguard. So... what now? [pause; to Victor] You gonna make a move, you better make it. [long pause; to Gus] But they're not gonna, are they? You brought me here because you have an ask. So, why don't you stop running a game on me, and just tell me about the job?

Mike

Speak English, please.

Werner

I'm going to throw up!

Mike

I suggest you don't. Hold on. We're almost there.

Mike

You okay?

Werner

Better. [coughs] Pardon. I take the dramamine, but it doesn't help.

Werner

Over there?

Mike

Over there.

Mike

So?

Werner

Before I can begin excavation, I must support the existing structure to avoid a cave-in. Normally, this would involve a piling rig, working from above. But there can be no activity visible from the surface, hmm? [Mike says nothing] So I must construct secant walls of CFA piles, working completely underground. Next, I must somehow place I-beams across the top of the secant walls to support the floor and the machinery. Only now can I fully excavate. I will need to move... perhaps 1,700 cubic meters of dirt. That means trucking out about 200 loads. Going this deep, we will surely hit rock, which means... blasting. [sighs] I will need schematics of utility in the area.

Mike

You'll get those.

Werner

Once the space is fully cleared, I can waterproof, then fabricate casts for the retaining walls and pour concrete. We would need, uh... [chuckles] about 150 cubic meters. This is just the beginning. And all this in complete secrecy? [beat; Mike stares at Werner] Judging from the sounds I heard, I assume we are not far from a town. This is also not... optimal. [Mike continues staring at Werner] A project like this... many, many things can go wrong.

Gus

So... It's impossible?

Werner

Dangerous, difficult... and very, very expensive. Not quite impossible.

Gus

Gustavo Fring. [in German] A pleasure to make your acquaintance.

Werner

Everyone seems much improved! This "R&R" was a good idea, Michael. [chuckles, looks around] Something the matter? [Mike hands him the coaster he sketched on] This? Oh, don't be concerned, I said nothing! Men at a bar, talking to make talk, and look: no details, no scale at all. Could be a skyscraper, could be a box for shoes. [beat] I said nothing about the construction that would not be true for thousands of others. By now, they have forgotten me entirely.

Mike

[sounding skeptical] "They forgot". The German national in the middle of Albuquerque, talking about pouring hundreds of tons of concrete at a secret underground location?

Werner

Eh, you're right. I'm sorry, Michael, I had too much beer... and I may have said more than I should have.

Mike

Listen to me. Carefully. The man we're working for is very serious; think about the precautions we take to keep everything that goes on here quiet. Think about how much money you're making. Think about what happens if something goes wrong. Do you understand what I am saying to you?

Werner

...I do understand. And I'm sorry to cause any problem. You have my word. Nothing like this will happen again.

Mike

Okay. [takes the coaster] Let's get you to work.

Gus

Yes?

Mike

I got him.

Gus

Where are you now?

Mike

Out by an old raceway off 55, about eight miles north of San Ysidro.

Gus

Where was he?

Mike

Place called Dulce Vega Hot Springs up in Jemez. It's gotta be where his wife is headed. [pause] Something else.

Gus

Yes?

Mike

When I found him, he was on the phone with an interested party pretending to be one of your guys.

Gus

...What did he tell them?

Mike

Nothing useful.

Gus

You're certain?

Mike

Yes... you have any idea who it was?

Gus

[sighs] I do.

Mike

Alright, I'll bring him in now.

Gus

No. Keep him there. Wait.

Mike

[pause] I'd go another way.

Gus

That, I know.

Mike

[pause] Let it be a mistake!

Gus

This discussion serves no purpose. Wait where you are.

Mike

I'll take care of it.

Gus

...Are you sure?

Mike

...Yes.

Mike

Goddamn it.

Mike

I want to know your end game. What'd you think was going to happen?

Werner

I thought that I would come back, and my friend, Michael, would be very, very angry... but, in time, he would understand and forgive.

Mike

It was never up to me.

Werner

Oh, Michael, look, I know I've made trouble for you and I'm very sorry for the damage I caused. I will repair what I broke with my own hands, but please. Margarethe w-will land any minute. Soon, she will be at the hotel, please. Take me back there. Let us be together for a little, huh? Let her see me and know that everything is okay. [Mike says nothing; pause] Ah, please, Michael. I go back now, I go back in the morning, what difference can it make?

Mike

[wavering] It's not going to happen.

Werner

Let me speak to Mr. Fring. I'll explain everything. I will make him understand.

Mike

You're not gonna talk to Fring.

Werner

Oh, please. I know if I–

Mike

Werner, nothing you're going to say or do is going to make anyone trust you again.

Werner

I will go home. I will never breathe a word of this. Ever. The money? I'll give all of it back. I will tell no one, I s-swear. It will be as if... none of this ever happened. Please, Michael. You know I will keep silent. You know it. Please!

Mike

[pause] Does your wife have a cell phone with her?

Werner

Yes...

Mike

I need you to call her now. [checks watch] She landed an hour ago.

Werner

But she knows nothing!

Mike

And you need to keep it that way. She's being followed!

Mike

Will she do it?

Werner

She was very angry, but yes. She will go home. Michael... if she doesn't hear a word from me, she will ask questions. She will go to the police.

Mike

There'll be a story. An accident. Lawyers will visit, German lawyers. All her questions will be answered.

Werner

This you swear?

Mike

This I swear.

Werner

And my men?

Mike

They're going home. They'll be okay, they're trusted.

Werner

[pause] Is there no other way truly? [Mike says nothing; beat] There are so many stars visible in New Mexico. I will walk out there... to get a better look.

Gus

Well?

Mike

Last of them got on a plane for Zurich an hour ago. No problem.

Gus

Will they do as they have been told?

Mike

You're asking my opinion?

Gus

I am.

Mike

They know the consequences.

Gus

And the laundry?

Mike

The entrances to the side have been sealed. Nobody's gonna stumble on it.

Gus

As long as Lalo Salamanca is on this side of the border, we cannot continue as we were.

Mike

So this is it?

Gus

No, this is not it. Once Salamanca is dealt with–and he will be dealt with–construction will resume. Until then, you will continue to be paid.

Mike

You're gonna pay me to do nothing?

Gus

Call it a retainer.

Mike

Even after Ziegler?

Gus

Yes.

Mike

What happened in Frankfurt?

Gus

The attorneys spent a full day with his wife. She accepted the facts as presented. As per your suggestion, a construction accident. The funeral was yesterday, and of course, she has been compensated.

Mike

Compensated?

Gus

I... would choose my next words...very carefully if I were you.

Mike

[beat] You keep your goddamn retainer.

Gus

You look much better. I am glad.

Mike

So I'm here... to see what a big heart you have. Is that the idea? You throw money at these people, they bow low.

Gus

As far as the people here are concerned, I am the doctor's friend, and nothing more.

Mike

They have no idea you financed the whole place?

Gus

I prefer it that way.

Mike

The anonymous benefactor. Oh, that must make you feel pretty good. And is that supposed to balance the scales? Make up for everything else you do?

Gus

It makes up for nothing. I am what I am.

Mike

[beat] What is this place?

Gus

Call it... a memorial.

Mike

To what? [pause] I already told you what you can do with your money. You seem like a guy who can take a hint. So what are we doing?

Gus

It seems to me that you are at a crossroads. You can continue as you are... drinking, estranged from your family, brawling with street hoods. We both know how that ends.

Mike

Yeah.

Gus

You have another choice.

Mike

Mmm... work for you as a button man.

Gus

I am in a war. I need a soldier.

Mike

So, I'm gonna work for one drug dealer killing other drug dealers. That's your idea of a choice?

Gus

You know better. You have met them. You know what they are.

Mike

Meaning the Salamancas? And you are so very different from them?

Gus

Yes. I am different.

Mike

[pause] Why me?

Gus

Because I believe that you understand.

Mike

Understand what?

Gus

Revenge.

Nacho

You're Michael? The gringo Lalo had a bug up his ass about? If Hector or the Cousins ever find out about this...

Mike

They're not gonna find out.

Gus

Get on with it.

Nacho

Lalo's using his CI connection. He's having Domingo call the DEA to rat out your dealers - times they're slinging, locations. Your guys are gonna get swept up.

Gus

[to Victor] Promote low-level dealers, or find new ones. Let them get arrested. Protect our people.

Victor

You got it.

Gus

What else?

Nacho

He talks about a lot of things. Um... Hitting your supply trucks, going after your restaurants, getting your customers sick... Cutting off power, busting open pipes. He's gonna chip away at your business until the bosses down south don't think you're worth the trouble.

Gus

[pause; looks at Mike, who nods] From now on, you report to this man. He needs you, you do not hesitate. Act.

Mike

I'm guessing there's something you wanna get off your chest.

Nacho

[pause] You know who you're working for, right? The shit that this guy does... They shot me. Left me bleeding out in the desert, all... part of some plan.

Mike

I don't know what to tell you. I warned you.

Nacho

What?

Mike

I warned you, when you started going after Hector Salamanca, there'd be others to worry about. You made a choice. You got in with both eyes open.

Nacho

My father didn't. He's got a gun to my father's head. If I don't do what he says...

Mike

Look. First things first, we take care of Lalo. Then, we'll talk.

Nacho

I'm not telling you shit until we talk about my dad!

Mike

What you tell me and when you say it is not up to you.

Nacho

Listen. You said when Lalo's out of the picture, we'll talk about my father, right? Well, he's out of the picture!

Mike

...Say your piece.

Nacho

I'm done! I want out.

Mike

And you want me to square it with Fring?

Nacho

Fring's not all of it. It's the cartel. I disappear, they're gonna go after my father. He's gotta come with me. But no matter what I say with him, it's the cops or nothing.

Mike

The cops won't solve this.

Nacho

[pause] You got a way?

Mike

Hm. What are you holding out?

Nacho

Lalo called me from inside. He put me back in charge.

Mike

And?

Nacho

And... he wants me to burn down Los Pollos Hermanos.

Mike

[pause] Then, he's not out of the picture, is he?

Jimmy

I should have been home hours ago. This’ll be tearing her up.

Mike

Oh, she’s just gonna think you’re out catting around.

Jimmy

No, she won’t. She’s gonna think I’m chopped to pieces, dead in some ditch.

Mike

And why is she gonna think that? You saying she knows what you’re doing?

Jimmy

Not, you know… the details. Just… She knows I’m picking up money down by the border. That’s all.

Mike

You told your girlfriend what you’re doing.

Jimmy

My wife.

Mike

Wife?

Jimmy

Yeah, wife.

Mike

[sarcastically] Congratulations. And what’s your wife gonna do with this information, do you think? Call the cops?

Jimmy

No.

Mike

No? People get scared, they call the cops. Pretty standard.

Jimmy

No, she’s not calling any cops.

Mike

Then what? Girls at the book club, gonna call her boss, tell him about her missing husband?

Jimmy

She’s not doing any of that, okay? She knows better. She’s just gonna be… scared out of her mind is all.

Mike

Huh. Really? Let’s hope you’re right. [scoffs] She knows. She’s in the game now.

Jimmy

What?! No, she’s not in the game! Alright? She’s not even game adjacent. I just told her the truth—a little slice of the truth. That’s all.

Mike

Hmm.

Jimmy

She’s not in the game!

Mike

[sighs; long pause] Well, can’t make a fire. Our guy may still be out there. [takes out a space blanket from his bag] I got two of these. You want one?

Jimmy

No, thanks.

Mike

Gets cold fast.

Jimmy

I’m fine! Thanks!

Mike

Suit yourself.