There must be some other reason for chatting you up, like access to drugs.
She's a doctor! She can steal her own drugs.
Ah, so she's on drugs. That makes perfect sense.
You see, it's pep talks like this I'm really going to miss.
S2Educating Creature
[George talks about his sudden onset of Tourette's]
This can't be happening to me! This can't! I teach language!
[Fighting a snigger] You could teach...bad language!
[George reads vandalism on a mirror]
"Mr. Sands Suck Cocks"? For God's sake! It's "Mr. Sands Sucks Cocks" - singular, not plural. Have I taught you nothing?
[after George has stormed out] WOW! Clearly someone's been watching a little too much Gordon Ramsay!
S2The Looking Glass
What? There's no vampires in London?
Yeah, but their head guy and I don't, erm...I sort of killed his Mum.
[Police storm into Mitchell's bedroom]
PPolice Officer
[To Mitchell] You! Get up!!
It's the library books, isn't it?
[Annie and George watch as Mitchell is driven away by the police]
[To George] What's he done?
How far back do you want to go?
What's your cat's name, Molly?
MMolly
Molly.
Your cat's called Molly and you're called Molly?
MMolly
My Dad really liked the name. Do you like cats?
Yeah, I couldn't eat a whole one though. [To himself] Who am I kidding? Of course I could.
I'm not scared of you...at least not as scared as I probably should be.
Yeah. You should be terrified. You should be begging for fucking mercy.
I should be married to David Bowie.
[George enters the house to see Annie holding a baby]
What is that?
A baby. It's one of mine.
How long have I been gone?!
[To Professor Jaggat] You know one of the few things I like about you is that you don't call supper 'tea'. There are many things I hate in this modern world: secularism, showbiz news, but tea is barbaric.
My mother's maiden name is Herod, my internet password is 'password1', I'm indifferent about all competitive sports, and I prefer lager to beer. I don't understand fishing. What is fishing? I'm scared of cancer, I voice hypocritical objections to drive-through takeaways and I lost my virginity on a canal boat in Tring.
SSam
Favourite colour?
That would be gamboges - it's a kind of orangey brown.
You're not scared of me?
No, at least probably not as much as I should be.
What did you say?
S2In The Morning
George, I didn't think you would seriously go through with it. I thought the moment would just pass. You know, like when you decided you were gonna wear skinny jeans.
Skinny jeans?
That was a private conversation.
Skinny jeans, George? Seriously?
It...it was a moment of madness.
No, this is a moment of madness! You cannot move in with someone you've just started dating! Tell him, Mitchell!
Skinny jeans, George?!?
Yes, yes, alright...look, where the hell were you last night?
I was with Lucy. We, er...we finally, um...you know. Decided to, em...
Oh, this is like the problem pages of Just 17. You had sex, Mitchell. Sex.
Yeah.
RRobin
Christmas 1998. Faulty panto pyrotechnic. One minute I'm standing in the wings watching Widow Twankey belt out a chorus of "La Vida Loca" the next? Bang! Flat out on my back with every hair on my body standing to attention.
Gosh, that's awful.
RRobin
It was a terrible shock.
Yeah, I bet it was.
RRobin
No, I mean literally. It was a terrible shock. That's what killed me.
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