Being Human · Season 2
Hugh is like a brother to me.
Oh, promise me you'll never tell him that.
I think he's really sweet.
Really sweet? Oh my God! Why not just stab him in the face? A brother? Annie, trust me, the only man who'd ever want to hear that is your actual brother.
Okay, two rules for Ivan's car: no food or drink and I get to choose the music and tonight we shall be listening to Miss Kate Bush.
[to Mitchell] He's your murdering fugitive. If you want to keep him, then you have to look after him.
What is it with me and volatile, unsuitable men? Be honest, am I Ulrika Jonsson?
Fifty years and still the same car?
Been keeping her in storage, you know what it's like. If it goes, has a good body and you like being inside it, why get rid of it? It's a recipe for a happy marriage, too.
You think this ends tonight? [laughs] This is just the beginning. Today it's Carl, tomorrow it's someone else. It's like I said, you're sliding into chaos and there's no safety net now. They've been in hiding since Herrick died but they're gonna get hungry soon, then you're going to be waking up to headlines about vampires.
If we did declare ourselves, but not the way Herrick wanted, but if we could just stop hiding.
What, are you imagining some kind of peaceful co-existence? It'd be chaos! Worldwide panic. Good news for religion, mind, especially Christianity. There'd be standing room only in the churches all of a sudden. And as soon as they knew about vampires, they'd know about werewolves, they'd know about ghosts. They'd be next. And when humanity had finally finished with us, it would turn on itself. First the other religions, massively in the minority now, then the homosexuals, the disabled...do you want to know what the future looks like? Enforced worship in churches a mile high, and every country surrounded by a coral reef of bones. But fuck it, maybe it should happen - there's nothing on TV at the moment.
[A 17th century priest reads a death warrant to a group of vampires]
Your teeth will be smashed from your skull as a warning to other devils, then your head will be removed from your body and... [turns to the back of the warrant] no, that's it actually.
Strangely, being invisible makes purchasing pyramid teabags a touch awkward.
[Annie reads George's poem about Nina]
"My heart yearns for your fragrant hair"?
That's private!
Does she have fragrant hair?
Yes. I'm a terrible poet and a terrible boyfriend.
What's the last line? "Because you're worth it"?
It's not interfering, it's more like regime change.
Oh, because that's never gone wrong.
Do you people have any FUCKING idea who I am!? My name is John Mitchell, and I've killed more people than you've met!
We're like detectives - Crockett and Tubbs.
Or Randall and Hopkirk deceased.
You don't buy any food. You never hoover. I don't think you even know what a pair of Marigolds is!
I don't do Marigolds.
We need to talk. So, George, you start.
[to Mitchell] Are you okay?
I've been better. You?
Likewise.
We should just go out one night and just get hammered.
Yeah, that's a good idea.
That's it? That's how you share?
What more is there to say?
Yeah, he's feeling a bit down, which is pretty understandable and I'm kind of stressed. We don't need to turn this into an episode of Oprah.
Exactly! File it under 'have discussed'.
George do you wanna watch The Real Hustle?
Oh I would really like that Mitchell. [to Annie] Women - think you're such authorities, like the way you deal with emotion is the only way.
It's not on!
Er, yeah it is. It's on at 10:30.
No, they moved it.
They what?! No, you're kidding me?!
Oh I don't believe it!
No, I was looking forward to that.
10:30 Thursdays. That's 'Real Hustle' time. A fucking child knows that!
Could I just not have one good thing in my life...?
...It just drives me insane when they move things around...
...Don't I deserve it? Don't I deserve one bloody crumb of happiness?
...This is so...what, so we're supposed to check every week! Like we don't have anything else to do! Is it our responsibility? Why's it down to us?!
I saw a preview. They were going to do a con about cashpoints.
Really? [George nods] I would have loved that. You bastards! Argh!! [Mitchell flings the TV schedule at the television and walks into the kitchen as George sobs, Mitchell walks back wearing Marigolds] There, I'll do the washing-up! Is everyone happy now?!
I'll haunt you!
You can't haunt another ghost.
I'll give it a damn good go!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Being Human pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
