[the central male and female in the video are divided by a mosh pit]
Butt-head: Go for it, dude, she wants you!
Beavis: Yeah, yeah, go for it, go for it! She wants you, c'mon! Slam into her! Slam into her, c'mon! Go for it! C'mon, grab her!
Butt-head: Yeah, yeah, go for it!
Beavis: Grab her!
Butt-head: Yeah!
Beavis: C'mon! Go for it!
Butt-head: See, now that dude knows how to do it.
Beavis:

[The cop has just descovered Beavis and Butt-head screaming in front of him
Cop: Alright you little punks, I got ya.
[Beavis and Butt-head screams as he grabs the two by their necks.]
Cop: Go ahead and scream all you want. Do you like this? Do you like hearing people SCREAMING? :(continues screaming in Beavis and Butt-head's ear) NOW DAMN IT. THE LAST THING I NEED TO DEAL WITH IS A COUPLE OF NOISE VANDALS LIKE YOU. YOU SEE WHEN I HEAR PEOPLE SCREAMING, IT USUALLY MEANS THERE'S TROUBLE. But if not, It's just like the little brat who cried wolf and someday when there really is trouble, I'M NOT GONNA HELP YOU!!!
[Let's go Beavis and Butthead]
Cop: Now if there's trouble, all you have to do is call. Here's my number. And if you want to scream, you can scream all you want inside your own home. (Turn's red face and screams in the duo's ears) JUST DON'T DO IT OUT HERE!!!!!!!

[The drummer appears wearing a sombrero]
Butt-head: Uh... is that a lesbian or a Mexican?
Beavis: Um... you're not supposed to say those words, Butt-head.
Butt-head: Uh... really?
Beavis: Remember that guidance counselor came and told us that those were both bad words?
Butt-head: Uh... oh yeah. He said those words were like, intolerable or something.

[the girl in the video is given an axe]
Butt-head: These are cool presents!
Beavis: Yeah, yeah. That dude's pretty cool for an old guy!
Butt-head: Yeah. She didn't even thank him!
Beavis: Yeah, if someone gave me an axe like that, I'd say: "Thank you, sir! That's a very nice axe. That was very nice of you!"
[the girl opens up a present containing a dead, stuffed dog]
Butt-head: Yeah, the dead dog was nice too.
Beavis: Whoa! Hey, don't look, Butt-head, that was what I was gonna get you for your birthday!
Butt-head: Uh, that would be cool.
Beavis: Now I'm gonna hafta get you what I got Stewart.
Butt-head: Beavis.
Beavis: When I was makin' one for Stewart, I made one for you too!
Butt-head: Beavis, I hope you've got insurance, because I'm about to kick your ass.
The Jesus and Mary Chain, Come On

[The lead singer hides herself in a coffin]
Butt-head: She sucks so bad, they locked her in a box. You know who else ought to do a concert inside of a box? Nelson.
Beavis: Yeah, Bon Jovi.

[The lead singer is destroying an overhead projector]
Beavis: Yeah, stomp on it! Kick it!
Butt-head: Yeah! I hate those things.
Beavis: Yeah. Everytime someone brings one of those into class, I just like, stick my hand on it and flip everybody off.

[the lead singer is grabbing another member by the jaw]
Butt-head: Whoa, what's he doing?
Beavis: He's like, "come on, come on, open it up, come on, gimme my damn candy bar back, I wasn't done yet, I was saving that for after the video, spit it out!"
Butt-head: That was stupid, Beavis.
Beavis: I thought it was kinda funny. You know, like, you know...
Butt-head: Beavis, stop trying to be funny.
Monster Magnet, Negasonic Teenage Warhead

[the lead singer is in a body bag, and a mortician opens it]
Butt-head: Zip him back up. He sucks.
Beavis: Come on, Butt-head, give him a chance.
Butt-head: They shouldn't give anybody a chance to suck.

[The lead singer is tapping the side of his head]
Butt-head: He's thinking.
Beavis: Oh, I see. It's like, you tap yourself on the side of the head to think. I see. I haven't tried that.
Lead Singer: (singing in a low voice) A little bit more than I could...ever want, A little bit more than you could...ever say.
Butt-head: This guy pronounces words weird.
Beavis: Yeah, really. [mocking the singer] A little bit more than you could ever say. [normal voice] Heh, heh, heh. [mocking the singer again] Fade away, fade away. [normal voice] What kind of an accent is that?
Butt-head: Uhh, I think that's the way they talk in like, Wussylvania.
Beavis: Oh yeah. And I was like thinking he was from California.

[the lead singer is thrown into the air, and her underwear can be seen underneath her skirt]
Beavis: Whoa, look at that! I didn't know chicks in videos wore underpants!
Butt-head: Beavis, if I ever catch you looking at my woman's drawers again, I'm gonna kick your ass.
Beavis: She's not your woman, Butt-head! She's never even seen you.
Butt-head: Dammit Beavis, this chick loves me, and I love her.
Wham!, Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go

[The lyrics become increasingly off-tempo]
Butt-head: Something's off.

[the music starts becoming more metallic]
Butt-head: Yes! Yes!
Beavis: Yes! Metallica rules!
Butt-head: They rule.
Beavis: [singing along] Dunununuh! Dunununuh! Darkness! Imprisoning me! I cannot live! I cannot die!
Butt-head: Shut up, Beavis!
Beavis: Oh. Sorry, man.
MGMT, It's Working

[The pair arrive at Mr. Anderson's yard sale]
Mr. Anderson: I can get you a real good deal on that bushwhacker.
[Beavis and Butt-head start laughing]
Butt-head: Bush.
Beavis: Whacker.

[The pair receive a letter that's supposed to be for their parents]
Beavis: Maybe we can suggest that school sucks. SUCKS! SUCKS!
Butt-head: Or maybe we can suggest that we can get a teacher that's cool.