[on the phone]
Butt-head: Uhh, what?
Manager: [over the phone] This is your boss at Burger World. We're having an extremely busy lunch, I need one of you to come down to Burger World
Butt-head: Uhh, I'm like, busy watching TV.
Manager: Well, then, let me talk to the other one.
Butt-head: Uhh, okay. [does a bad impression of Beavis] Uh huh huh huh. Like, hi, this is Beavis, uh huh huh huh, yeah, huh huh huh. I'll be right in, sir, yeah, huh huh huh huh. You can always, like, count on me, sir, huh huh huh huh. [hangs up] Hey Beavis, that was that manager dude at Burger World. He says you have to go to work right now.
Beavis: No way! That sucks! It sucks! Hey, how come you don't have to go to work?
Butt-head: Because I'm, like, busy watching TV.
Beavis: Oh yeah. This sucks

[one of the band members jumps around and falls over]
Butt-head: That guy fell over.
Beavis: Yeah, yeah! He's gonna get kicked out of the band.
Butt-head: Yeah. That dude in the dress doesn't put up with that crap.
Beavis: Yeah, yeah. "You stand up straight, play your guitar, and SHUT UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP!!!!!!!!!"

[one of the band members trips over a table]
Butt-head: What a wuss!

[one of the band members waves towards the lead singer's butt]
Butt-head: He's pretending to feel her butt.
Beavis: She won't let him feel her butt because like, he failed the nad inspection.
[the lead singer, licking a lollipop, licks a shirtless man's armpit]

[Phil Collins is seen playing the drums]
Butt-head: What a dork!
Beavis: Yeah, yeah, really!

[round, steel balls are shown dropping]
Butt-head: "Plop". "Plop".
Beavis: "Plop, plop!"
Butt-head: This must be, like, some kind of toilet of the future.
Beavis: Yeah, it's like, they use kitty litter.
Butt-head: Yeah, I'm a water man, myself.
Beavis: I like to take a dump in the kitty box sometimes. And then, like, the cat comes and buries it for you.

[seeing a policeman run into a house]
Beavis: Ten Six Niner, Ten Six Niner, we got whores in the city! We need back up now! Come on!
Bee Gees, Jive Talkin'

[seeing Jon Bon Jovi]
Butt-head: Is that Bridget Fonda?
Beavis: Yeah! Fonda ain't got a motor in the back of her Honda! My anaconda don't want none unless it's got buns, hun!

[seeing some guys in a car drive under a giant woman]
Butt-head: Uhh, stop the car dude!
Beavis: I just thought of something. You know what would be funny is if while they were driving under that girl like that, y'know, since they have a convertible, it would have been funny if she pooped on them.
Butt-head: Uhh, okay Beavis, that's enough about poop.
Beavis: Okay. I'll just talk about wee-wee. Tinkle tinkle tinkle!
Morbid Angel, God of Emptiness

[several bodies of Dave Mustaine are being shown in the video]
Butthead: What's that dude doing back there?
Beavis: That's Dave Mustaine.
Butthead: No way, Beavis, that's Dave Mustaine up in front.
Beavis: No way, Butthead. Dave Mustaine sings better than that.
Butthead: Yeah. That's like a Dave Mustaine look-alike.

[Singing along with group]
Beavis: I'm your Beavis!
Butt-head: I'm your Venus...um, hey Beavis, what rhymes with "Venus"?
Beavis: Um...um...venus...Venus Flytrap.

[Singing theme song to Laverne and Shirley]
Beavis: One, two, three, four, a shmeagol! A schlong! A zapadun incorporated!
Butt-head: We're gonna do it!
Beavis: Give us any chance, we'll take it!/Give us any rule, we'll break it! We're gonna make it/we're not gonna break it/all we need is a little bit of patience!

[Sugar Ray do a cheesy synchronized dance in the video]
Butt-head: Uh, there it is, see? Isn't that cool?
Beavis: What's cool about it?
Butt-head: It's like, they're all doing it together. That's cool.
Beavis: You think it's cool when dudes dance together, Butt-head?
Butt-head: Uhhhh...damn it Beavis, just shut up!
Beavis: Hey, Butthead...Would you like to dance? Nananananana!
[Butt-head smacks Beavis] Sugartooth, Sold My Fortune

[The band is in gorilla costumes]
Beavis: Hey Butt-head, those aren't real gorillas.
Butt-head: Yeah. They had to get fake ones, 'cause like, they knew real ones wouldn't listen to this crap. You know what animal would listen to this crap? Is a cow.
Beavis: Yeah. Cows can listen to this crap, because they have like...they have like, um, six stomachs.
Butt-head: I bet you can get a cow to listen to like, Warrant.

[The band is standing by wedding cakes and holding baseball bats]
Beavis: Yeah, yeah, come on! Here we go! Hit it! Come on, smash it! Smash it! COME ON, WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? SMASH IT!
Butt-head: Settle down, Beavis! This is a video. Anytime you see a cake and a baseball bat in the same video, the cake's gonna get his ass kicked.
Beavis: Yeah, but why's he waiting so long? Come on, come on, BREAK IT! SMASH IT! Where's the cake? Where's that damn cake? Let me see it!
Butt-head: You dumbass.