Beavis and Butt-Head quotes
1300 total quotesSergent: I can get you delayed entery, your own uniforms, grenades, and ammo. I can probilby get you station over at Fort Dix.
Butt-Head: Fort Dix? Is that anywere near fort nuts?
Butt-Head: Fort Dix? Is that anywere near fort nuts?
Shaggy: Mr. Boombastic!
Beavis: Yeah! [imitating Shaggy] Yeah, Bombastic! Here it is!
Butt-head: [putting on a foreign accent in imitation] Mr. Romantic, Mr. Bombastic.
Beavis: [babbles faux-Shaggy gibberish, the only comprehensible words are "romantic" and "bombastic"]
Beavis: Yeah! [imitating Shaggy] Yeah, Bombastic! Here it is!
Butt-head: [putting on a foreign accent in imitation] Mr. Romantic, Mr. Bombastic.
Beavis: [babbles faux-Shaggy gibberish, the only comprehensible words are "romantic" and "bombastic"]
Spelling: Butt-head, perhaps you see a part of yourself in Michael.
Butt-head: Yeah, my butt.
Spelling: And Beavis, is that what you feel?
Butt-head: Beavis feels himself.
Beavis: Shut up, Butt-head! Heh, I'll kick your ass!
Butt-head: Yeah, my butt.
Spelling: And Beavis, is that what you feel?
Butt-head: Beavis feels himself.
Beavis: Shut up, Butt-head! Heh, I'll kick your ass!
Stewart's Mom: Have you boys eaten breakfast?
Beavis: ....I think I did once.
[eating breakfast burritos]
Beavis: ....I think I did once.
[eating breakfast burritos]
Stewart's Mom: My poor Stewart! What could have happened to him?
Beavis: um...Maybe somebody killed him and burried him in a shallow grave. [Stewart's mom sobs louder] Um...what's the matter?
Beavis: um...Maybe somebody killed him and burried him in a shallow grave. [Stewart's mom sobs louder] Um...what's the matter?
Stewart: [not realizing they have left] We could go to my house. I have this awesome new video game.
Stewart: Hey guys, what are you doing?
Beavis: Hey Butt-head. Stewart can like, kill some time.
Butt-head: Uh, yeah. Say something, Stewart.
Stewart: Really? You wanna talk to me? Wow, that's cool. Let's go to the mall, I know this great new place-
Butt-head: [interrupting] This sucks.
Beavis: Yeah.
[both get up and leave]
Beavis: Hey Butt-head. Stewart can like, kill some time.
Butt-head: Uh, yeah. Say something, Stewart.
Stewart: Really? You wanna talk to me? Wow, that's cool. Let's go to the mall, I know this great new place-
Butt-head: [interrupting] This sucks.
Beavis: Yeah.
[both get up and leave]
Stewart: I, sometimes I wet the bed. Isn't it, like, normal? What happened if I get married?
Beavis: Is this, is this, uh..... Hey Stewart!
Stewart: (embarrassed) Oh no.
Beavis: Stewart, what a weiner! Heh heh heh!
(Stewart's face turns red in humiliation)
Beavis: Is this, is this, uh..... Hey Stewart!
Stewart: (embarrassed) Oh no.
Beavis: Stewart, what a weiner! Heh heh heh!
(Stewart's face turns red in humiliation)
Stewart: Socko's great.
Butt-head: Uh,huh,huh,huh... Socko has a hand up his butt.
Beavis: Heh,heh,heh,heh, yeah,heh,heh,heh.
Butt-head: Uh,huh,huh,huh... Socko has a hand up his butt.
Beavis: Heh,heh,heh,heh, yeah,heh,heh,heh.
Store clerk: Are you two gonna buy something or are you gonna stare all day?
Butt-head: Uh, we're gonna stare all day.
Butt-head: Uh, we're gonna stare all day.
Store Owner: Tell Eddy it's against the law for me to sell cigarettes to a boy your age. And then, tell him cigarettes cause cancer.
Beavis: Y-yeah but, if I tell him that, he might get all sore 'n stuff. A-and then he's liable to beat me up.
Store Owner: Well, if he tries that, you tell him that's against the law too.
Beavis: Y-yeah but, if I tell him that, he might get all sore 'n stuff. A-and then he's liable to beat me up.
Store Owner: Well, if he tries that, you tell him that's against the law too.
Store Owner: Well hey there Master Cleaver, aren't you supposed to be in school?
Beavis: Well, I guess so, b-but all I know is I'm sposed to come in here and buy some cigarettes.
Store Owner: Hey, you wouldn't be buying these for Eddy now would ya?
Beavis: ...Gee, how'd you know?
[Store Owner looks out window and sees Todd smoking. Canned laughter.]
Beavis: Well, I guess so, b-but all I know is I'm sposed to come in here and buy some cigarettes.
Store Owner: Hey, you wouldn't be buying these for Eddy now would ya?
Beavis: ...Gee, how'd you know?
[Store Owner looks out window and sees Todd smoking. Canned laughter.]
Student: [while discussing about Jurassic Park] ..and then he attacked the dude in his own car.
Beavis: The dinosaur had a car?
Butt-head: How else you think he's got there, dumbass? On a bike?
Beavis: Shut up, Butt-head!
[Beavis and Butt-head began slapping each other] [The crowd gasped as the wall was unveiled to be spraypainted with crude band names including "SLAYER", "OZZY", etc.]
Beavis: The dinosaur had a car?
Butt-head: How else you think he's got there, dumbass? On a bike?
Beavis: Shut up, Butt-head!
[Beavis and Butt-head began slapping each other] [The crowd gasped as the wall was unveiled to be spraypainted with crude band names including "SLAYER", "OZZY", etc.]
T'Baby: I'm having visions of how we used to hang and bang...
Beavis: Hanging and banging...
T'Baby: How the fuck do you sposed to stack papers...
Beavis: Stacking papers, you know...
[The lyrics go off-tempo]
Beavis: I'm lost.
Beavis: Hanging and banging...
T'Baby: How the fuck do you sposed to stack papers...
Beavis: Stacking papers, you know...
[The lyrics go off-tempo]
Beavis: I'm lost.