Beavis and Butt-Head quotes
1300 total quotesThe Murmurs: And for that, you suck...
Beavis: Um...they just said you suck.
Butt-head: No they didn't, they said you suck. They ripped off my idea for a song.
Beavis: Yeah, and you already ripped off the idea from me, bunghole.
Butt-head: Beavis, do you remember what I told you about trying to be funny?
Beavis: ...that I shouldn't?
Butt-head: That's right, now sit there and shut up, nutsack.
Beavis: Um...they just said you suck.
Butt-head: No they didn't, they said you suck. They ripped off my idea for a song.
Beavis: Yeah, and you already ripped off the idea from me, bunghole.
Butt-head: Beavis, do you remember what I told you about trying to be funny?
Beavis: ...that I shouldn't?
Butt-head: That's right, now sit there and shut up, nutsack.
Thomas Jefferson: "All Men are endowed by their creator, with certain inalienable Rights, and among these are Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness." Have you anything to add, Compatriot Beavis?
Beavis: Oh, um, OK, let me think- how about this? "All chicks shall be required to do it with us, at all times. E pluribus unum."
Thomas Jefferson: A damn fine idea, lad.
All: Hear hear!
Beavis: Oh, um, OK, let me think- how about this? "All chicks shall be required to do it with us, at all times. E pluribus unum."
Thomas Jefferson: A damn fine idea, lad.
All: Hear hear!
Thurston Moore: And tell the story of the jelly rollin'...
Butt-head: Tell the story of the choad?
Beavis: This is the story of a lonely little choad. He never scored. And that's the end.
Butt-head: I think that's like, uh, your story, Beavis.
Beavis: It's your story too, butthole!
Butt-head: Tell the story of the choad?
Beavis: This is the story of a lonely little choad. He never scored. And that's the end.
Butt-head: I think that's like, uh, your story, Beavis.
Beavis: It's your story too, butthole!
Todd: Get the door, you turds. And remember: act dumb. Oh, and bring some of those marshmallow crackers next time, or I'll stomp a mudhole in your ass!
[The boys look at the two police officers at their doorstep via the peephole]
[The boys look at the two police officers at their doorstep via the peephole]
Todd: If my arm weren't so sore from my new tattoo, I'd smear both your asses all over the parking lot.
Beavis: Whoa, heh heh, cool.
Todd: Give me those nachos and those fruity whips and I might not shove these handle bars up your butt.
Butt-head: Err, Okay.
[Todd consumes the nachos and drink before driving off]
Beavis: Whoa, heh heh, cool.
Todd: Give me those nachos and those fruity whips and I might not shove these handle bars up your butt.
Butt-head: Err, Okay.
[Todd consumes the nachos and drink before driving off]
Todd: Listen squirt, you better get in there and get me some smokes before today's lesson turns into Ass-kicking 101.
Todd: Now get in there and get me some smokes.
Beavis: Are you sure I should be doing this?
Todd: What did you say?
Beavis: I said are you-
[Todd revs the car so the rest of the words aren't heard]
Beavis: Are you sure I should be doing this?
Todd: What did you say?
Beavis: I said are you-
[Todd revs the car so the rest of the words aren't heard]
Todd: So, Beaver...
Beavis: The name's Beavis, sir.
Todd: Well excuse me, Beaver.
Beavis: The name's Beavis, sir.
Todd: Well excuse me, Beaver.
Todd: Where's the pre-schoolers at who parked their sucky little trikes in my spot?
[The pair raise their hands. Todd holds Butt-head against the window whilst putting his foot on top of Beavis' throat]
[The pair raise their hands. Todd holds Butt-head against the window whilst putting his foot on top of Beavis' throat]
Todd: You pre-schoolers are dead! You made me spill beer all over my jeans!
Butt-head: Do you want me to kick Beavis' ass for you?
Todd: That won't be necessary, man.
Butt-head: Do you want me to kick Beavis' ass for you?
Todd: That won't be necessary, man.
Tom Anderson: (Cleaning his glasses, unable to notice that his two workers are Beavis and Butt-Head wearing neard glasses) Well I can see you boys ain't like the usual hooligans running around here. Like these two fellows, uh, Buff-Coat and Beaver. Boy they've been nothing but trouble.
Tom Anderson: Now hold on just a second. [picks up phone] Well John Thomas! How long's it been? You still got Dick's number?
[Beavis and Butt-head snicker]
[Beavis and Butt-head snicker]
Tom Anderson: Now what in the hell are you two boys supposed to be?
Beavis: I'm a nad.
Butt-head: I'm a dumbass. Check it out. Uh huh huh huh. Uh huh huh. Uhuhuhuhuhuh.
[telephone rings]
Beavis: I'm a nad.
Butt-head: I'm a dumbass. Check it out. Uh huh huh huh. Uh huh huh. Uhuhuhuhuhuh.
[telephone rings]
Tom Anderson: You know, when a man builds a new swimming pool, there's some things he just can't do by himself.
Butt-head: Beavis does things by himself.
Butt-head: Beavis does things by himself.