“V”
In this episode: Smart Butt-head (8), Smart Beavis (8)
Look! Look!
Yeah. Vanilla Ice.
You know, um, they're always, like, putting this guy down and you know, making fun of him and saying he sucks and stuff. But you know, um he really does suck. And this is one of those times where everybody's right. You know what I'm saying?
Are you just trying to say that this sucks, Beavis?
Sometimes you have a way with words.
Are you gonna change the channel, Butt-head?
Why bother? All we seem to get on this TV is bad videos
Oh yeah, yeah.
There's like, three things wrong with this video. One, this dude sucks. And, uhh…three, he's trying to rap a love song.
You know, um…if this was a real rap song about love, he'd be saying “We have no love for hoes.”
Yeah. He'd be like, “I don't love you hoes, I'm out the doe” (door)
Violent Femmes, Breakin' Up
Whoa, check it out, Butt-head! There's a chick back there in the window; I think she's naked!
Shut up, Beavis! No she's not!
Oh, OK.
Dark voices are talking to me...
Hey Beavis, that guy says he hears dark voices in his head.
Oh really? I hear voices too, but it's like, usually they're white guys. Sometimes it's, like, you know, a Chinese dude too, that talks to me. And a couple of Mexicans.
Really? What does the Chinese guy say?
He says [high-pitched Chinese accent] "Pull down your pants. Spank your monkey."
And what does the white guy say?
The same thing. But he talks just like me.
[The band is standing by wedding cakes and holding baseball bats]
Yeah, yeah, come on! Here we go! Hit it! Come on, smash it! Smash it! COME ON, WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? SMASH IT!
Settle down, Beavis! This is a video. Anytime you see a cake and a baseball bat in the same video, the cake's gonna get his ass kicked.
Yeah, but why's he waiting so long? Come on, come on, BREAK IT! SMASH IT! Where's the cake? Where's that damn cake? Let me see it!
You dumbass.
I don't see what the big deal is about breaking up. I just, like say "Hey baby...get lost. You know, we can like...still do it and stuff but, uh, I'm gonna have to ask you to leave."
Shut up! Here it comes! [Gordon Gano smashes the cakes with a baseball bat] YEAH!
Yes! See? Told you, buttmunch!
Violent Femmes, Nightmares
Everytime I try to sleep, I have nightmares...
Hey Butt-head, I had this nightmare last night, that like, everything sucked. It was really scary.
But Beavis, Everything DOES suck. [Dramatic shock sound effect plays]
AH!
Take it easy, Beavis. It really sucks when you do that. [Sound effect plays again]
AH! NO!
Cut it out, Beavis! You know what, I bet these guys went to college and stuff.
Yeah, yeah. I bet they like, paid attention too.
Yeah, and you know one thing about college, Beavis?
Yeah, it sucks. [Sound effect plays again] AH! AAAAAHHHHH!
That was cool.
No it wasn't.
Hey Beavis, you know what sucks? [Sound effect plays again]
AH! NO!
Shut up, Beavis! I haven't even told you yet.
Oh yeah.
Everytime you do that, it sucks! [Sound effect plays again]
AAAAAAAHHH! NO!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Beavis and Butt-Head pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
