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Batman quotes

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Batman
All S1

S1 E15Unfinished Business

When we get to the Royal Oil Boiling Room, be sure to prepare some real boiling royal boiling oil to boil the Boy Wonder in. Royally.

LLisa

Would you like to come in for a glass of milk and cookies?

I'm afraid it's rather late. Why, it's 10:30!

[After the Black Widow has hypnotized Batman] Batman, I need you to sing a song! That way I can free you from the Black Widow's evil thrall!

Very well, Robin. I think a little Gilbert & Sullivan... [Picks up flower] I'm called Little... Buttercup... Poor Little... Buttercup... Though I could... never tell... why...

Ewww. Well, that's terrible. Terrible, Wayne. Why, even a 3-year old could do better than that. Here, let me show you. [Joker works with the clay and ruins the sculpture.] Ah, there, that's more like it.

Yes. I see what you mean. That's about the level of a 3-year old.

I do the jokes around here, Wayne!

I say that was one of your better ones.

Where's Bruce Wayne?

Mr. Wayne is not at home, sir.

Too bad. I'll get my revenge later. Right now, I'll settle for cash. Where's the safe?

My duties do not include aiding and abetting thievery.

Oh, no? [points a gun at Baby Jane's head]

...right this way, sir.

[The Joker is helplessly stuck on the Bat-pole.]

Alfred, old pal! Have pity! [whimpers]

We Anglo-finks have a long memory.

[Alfred sends Joker screaming back down the Bat-pole.]

[to himself] I really shouldn't take pleasure in another creature's misfortunes. But, uh, occasionally, one may be forgiven for a slight twinge of satisfaction.

In fact, Mr. Wayne is taking Mrs. Harriet Cooper, a devotee of Miss Glaze's, backstage before the performance to meet the dazzling star.

While Dick Grayson, I suppose, stays home and works on his essay on glaciers?

Right again, Robin.

[to Carpet King] You must be that gentleman I've read about. Aren't you a king or something?

Robin, England has no king now. England has a queen, and a great lady she is, too.

Where'd you get a live fish, Batman?

The true crimefighter always carries everything he needs in his utility belt, Robin.

I don't know whether to call him "daddy" or just Commissioner.

[Batman and Robin arrive]

If I were you, Penguin, I'd call help right now!

When we get through with you, Penguin, you'll be hollering "uncle" instead of "daddy"!

Batman, maybe I should stay home tonight. Homework, you know.

I think you should acquire a taste for opera, Robin, as one does for poetry and olives.

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