I know pronounce you man and--
STOP THE WEDDING!!!
[The crowd gasps as Everett plays a dramatic chord on the organ before fainting.]
Listen to me. I've always kept my cowbell wrapped in a newspaper from the day I was separated from my mom, but it's dated an entire year after Bessy's kid floated away. I can't be Bessy's son.
[The crowd gasps and mutters in shock as Everett plays another dramatic chord.]
This can't be true!
I'm sorry, Bessy. I know you want your son back, but it's not me.
[Bessy looks sad at first, but then...]
Phew! What a relief!
Huh. Not what you'd usually say when your heart is breaking into a million pieces.
I didn't know what was worse, having you for a son, or being married to a rat.
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