Dez quotes from Austin & Ally

Dez

Yes! We're going to another planet! I call shotgun!

Dez

(to Trish) What's the worst that could happen?

Dez

And here's Ally. Doesn't she look like she needs another hour to get ready?

Dez

Why would they nominate Ally?

Dez

Carrie broke up with me, a month ago. I was too embarrassed to tell anyone. I don't wanna go back to L.A., I lied, it wasn't fun. I was sad and lonely there without you guys.

Austin

Who am I kidding... My dad always said I had a one in a million chance of making it....

Ally

That's exactly what my dad said to me.

Dez

You know what my dad always says? "Dez! Stop texting the dog!"

Ally

I can't just spit out a song any time you want me to. Lyrics don't just flow out of me like a river after a rain of tears! Oh... That's good! (Runs over, grabs her book and writes it down)

Austin

Hey, Ally. Maybe you should write that... so we can actually read it this time. (Ally glares at him)

Dez

Yeah... Miss Calligraphy Camp... (Laughs at her)

Ally

Oh. (Scribbles something in her book) Can you read this?

Dez

(Looks at it) Yes, I can... And that is not a nice word!

Ally

(Referring to the kangaroo in her practice room) Aww, he is so cute. (Stops walking towards him) Aww, I just stepped in kangaroo poop...

Dez

Hey, you don't know it was the kangaroo... Trish was in here earlier....

Trish

(Smiles at him) I will smack those freckles right off your face...

Dez

Someone needs to mop up all this Trish poop.

Trish

Keep it up, and someone's gonna need to mop up all your freckles!

Dez

My freckles are my friends! Can you say that about your poop?!

Austin

Hey, Ally! (Walks in all sweaty and orange)

Ally

Oh, hey Austin.

Austin

Check out my fake tan...

Ally

Ugh, I hate fake tans.

Austin

Really? I did not know that! (Shows off his sweaty underarms)

Ally

Ugh, almost as much as I hate sweaty guys...

Austin

Also did not know that! (Dez walks in)

Dez

Austin, you look different.

Austin

Yeah, cuz I'm orange... and I'm sweaty....

Dez

(Shakes his head) No...

Ally

Hi, Dez. What are you supposed to be? An alien zombie?

Dez

No, a zombie alien. I'm a Zalien. Characters from my favorite movies of all time. Zaliens 1, Zaliens 2, Zaliens 3, Zaliens 4, Zaliens 5, Zaliens 7...

Ally

[interrupting] Ah-ah-ah, you forgot Zaliens 6.

Dez

Ugh, that movie stinks. I wish I could forget it.

Ally

She threw away my song without even listening to it.

Trish

And she sabotaged your Jam-A-Thon gig to make me look bad.

Dez

And she broke the keyboard on the wall and put it back up there to make it look like nothing happened to it.

Ally

Dez?

Dez

Fine, I broke it. But she's still a very bad person.

Dez

Can I have a chicken quinceañera? I'm trying to cut back on red meat.

Trish

You're thinking of a quesadilla.

Dez

No, a quesadilla is a traditional Latin American party celebrating a girls 15th birthday.

Austin

You're awesome.

Ally

Thanks, Austin.

Dez

Awww.

Austin

Dez, are you spying on us?

Dez

No I said 'awww' because I saw the cutest kid destroy the nicest violin down there. Awww.

Ally

What?

Little early for ice cream, isn't it?

Dez

Ahhhhhh! What are you doing here, Officer?

Somebody triggered the silent alarm.

Dez

Really? I didn't hear anything.

What's with your face?

Dez

Well, some people say I have my mom's eyes and my dad's nose, but I see more of my Great Aunt Ruth. She is a handsome woman!

I'm talking about the starfish.

Dez

Oh! I have a starfish on my face.