Arrested Development quotes

177 total quotes



All Seasons  Season 1  
Season 2
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Michael: [looking at a gift basket] Didn't you get one of those, too? You bought Lindsay at the same auction.
Tobias: I'm afraid I prematurely shot my wad on what was supposed to be a dry run if you will, so I'm afraid I have something of a mess on my hands.
Michael: There's so many poorly chosen words in that sentence.

Michael: [to Gob] Get rid of the Seaward.
Lucille: I'll leave when I'm good and ready.

Michael: I think George Michael's hiding Ann in the attic.
Lindsay: From who? The Nazis?

Michael: I think they are too young to get involved that seriously.
Rev. Veal: My wife and I were about the same age when we got engaged.
Michael: [Glancing at the reverend's wife] Well, yeah, you've gotta lock that down.

Michael: Mom, after all these years, God's not going to take a call from you.

Michael: My mom is very stressed out, and uh, she needs something that I can't give her, um... maybe a little afternoon delight?
Narrator: Oscar thought that Michael was referring to a particular brand of cannabis named Afternoon Delight, a strand famous for slowing behavior.
Oscar: Well, sure, the question is: Which way do I try to get it in her?
Michael: I don't need any details.
Oscar: Maybe I'll put it in her brownie.
Michael: Hey!

Michael: So then, he's more popular than George Michael?
Maeby: Well, that's like comparing apples and some fruit nobody's ever heard of.

Michael: We have a private eye, huh?
Lucille: Oh, I hired him a hundred years ago to find out if your father was cheating on me. He never did find anything.
Michael: Well, he can't be very good then.

Michael: Well, I better get over there before he brings the whole company down.
Lindsay: It's only been three hours. How much damage could he really do?
Narrator: In three hours, Gob had done $45,000 in damage.

Michael: You've got to be the laziest person in the world.
Lindsay: If you weren't all the way on the other side of the room, I'd slap your face.

Narrator: As a child, Buster had a beloved parakeet. But after landing on his mother's housekeeper's head, it flew away. And into a transformer. When Buster found out, he destroyed the family's kitchen, believing this to be where Rosa lived.

Narrator: Buster was finding himself right at home.
Buster: Oh, my God! I used to have a shirt just like that.
Narrator: It was Buster's old shirt. Lucille had given it to Lupe.
Buster: And the hand chair! I had one in my room! I wonder where that went.
Narrator: It went right there.
Buster: [touching his hand chair] I'd never thought I'd miss a hand so much.

Narrator: Gob had hidden his father under a house that had just collapsed.
Gob: [Seeing George Michael and Maeby] Children - you're small. Crawl under there.
Season 3

Narrator: On the next Arrested Development, Tobias listens to a day's worth of his own recordings to see what Michael was referring to.
Tobias: [on tape] Even if it means me taking a chubby, I will suck it up!
Tobias: Nothing wrong with that.
Tobias: [on tape] I've been in the film business for a while but I just cant seem to get one in the can.
Tobias: That's out of context...
Tobias: [on tape] I wouldn't mind kissing that man between the cheeks.
Narrator: And he realizes there is something distinct about the way he speaks.
Tobias: Tobias... you blow hard! [chuckles]

Narrator: Tobias went to a try-out for the Blue Man Group hoping to be seen.
[Tobias gets hit by a car]
Narrator: Unfortunately, it was dusk, and he couldn't be seen.