Army Wives · Season 1
Now, I'm putting this to all of you. For the first time, Trevor and I did not have sex last night. What do y'all have to say about that?
I'm impressed.
I'm jealous.
I'm speechless.
[The ladies turn to Roland, who is awkwardly looking at the table]
[looks up] I'm not here! Please leave a message.
Hey, you guys, Claudia Joy is doing okay, huh? You've gotta admire how she's been handling things, especially with Mrs. Lenore Baker trying to take her down like that.
Do you really think she would use what happened against Claudia Joy like that?
That's how it works around here sometimes.
Well, what do we do?
We stick together. We support Claudia Joy, no matter what.
We deep fry Lenore Baker and serve her up with a side of hushpuppies!
Fastest way to a man's zipper; tight jeans, new haircut.
Sergeant Hendrix, can I talk to you about my husband, sir?
And you are?
Roxy LeBlanc. I'm married to––
PFC LeBlanc, I take it.
Yes. Look, I'm sure I'm breaking all sorts of rules here but I have to. See, Trevor's so dedicated to his training that he tore his feet up. He can barely walk, his socks are all bloody.
And so, what shall I do about it?
[lowers voice] Well, I made an appointment for him at the doctor tomorrow and he won't go because he has to train. So would you please give him the day off?
Oh sure. Why don't he take the week off?
Look, I feel responsible, ok? Trevor hurt his knee tripping over our kids' toy. Just...let him go? You can have him right back.
I'll take your advice, ma'am.
[SFC Hendrix walks away and turns back to his men]
LeBlanc!!!! Front and center!!!
[Trevor catches sight of Roxy and glares at her]
Rox, you were so far out of line in like a hundred different ways.
Sorry. I was just trying to help.
I know but you gave Sergeant Hendrix another thing to ride my ass about! Do you know what the guys are calling me now?! "Babysoft"!
Was just trying to get things back to normal for us.
[looks at Roxy curiously] What is that supposed to mean?
We haven't had sex in three days! Something's gotta be wrong. Are you still attracted to me?
That's what this is about??
[Roxy nods]
[in disbelief] Rox! [turns to Roxy] Ok, just because we're not having sex every night does not mean I'm not attracted to you. 'Cause I am.
[chuckles] I'm being needy. Never been needy before. I'm sorry. I just haven't had the best relationships, you know?
Then this is a good one in case you're wondering.
[on the air describing her new call-in show] Ok, uh, so much for announcements. Now for a little call-in segment that I'm calling 'Have At It With Pamela Moran.' Where we talk about us – the Army Wives – and what we go through. Like how it feels to be a single mom even when you're married. Or, better yet, what it's like to be the mistress 'cause the Army is the wife and sometimes that bitch gets all the attention! You know, they say, 'Mission First. People Always.' But that's crap. And what the hell does that mean, anyway? Because the Army comes first - period. And we deal with it or we move on. And it doesn't matter if your spouse wears sergeant's stripes, or, or colonel's eagle. Because worrying about your soldier at wartime feels exactly the same. So, forget rank, 'cause people are just people. And uh, speaking of which - I know we all like to gossip, but come on folks, can we just stop all the lies and innuendos about a certain colonel's wife. I mean, what the hell folks! Did we all lose direction to the high road, or what?
[to Claudia Joy] Getting older is like being punished for a crime you didn't commit.
[After Roxy and Pamela are confronted by Marilyn about Pamela having Scott over for Pizza]
So, you still think having your own microphone to tell the world off is a bad thing?
[In response to a caller on her radio show asking about what to expect when her husband comes home from war]
My man just came back and got a heroes welcome, lemme tell ya he knows how to shoot off the fireworks, we're talking 21-gun salute, so stay hydrated.
[trying to hit on Roxy] You must be from Tennessee, 'cause you're the only ten I see.
[smiles] Sweet, you can count! Just don't breed. [walks away]
[Everyone laughs]
Rox, you are one of the smartest people I know...you could do anything.
You know the difference between a lawyer and an accountant? An accountant knows he's boring. [kisses Trevor] I'm happy where I am right now.
Do you remember the trek from Tuscaloosa?
[glancing at the boys] How could I forget? TJ threw up on me twice, Finn peed on me, and you broke the dial fighting over the radio station.
[smiles] Good times.
[smiling] Hmmm...good times.
[to Betty] When is your surgery?
She's not having it.
[concerned] Why not?
She's short three grand. I keep telling her to sell the Hump Bar, but she won't.
This place has been truer to me than any man I've ever been with, Roxy. I can't sell it. It's better we just go out together.
There has to be something we can do.
Yeah.
[shrugging] Forget it. I mean, who needs surgery? It's like putting lipstick on a pig.
UVA doesn't know how lucky they are.
[her head on her mother's shoulder] Why?
Why? Because they're getting the best Political Science major they'll ever have.
Mom, don't exaggerate.
I'm not. I'm serious. I can see the woman you're going to be. You haven't caught sight of her yet, but she's just around the corner. And I'm damn glad that test was negative.
I'll always remember this day.
Why?
Because terrorists are trying to blow us up and we're flying a kite. [they both laugh] That would really piss them off!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Army Wives pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
