Tied for 3rd most-quoted character in Are You There, Chelsea?: in 6 of its 24 quotes
Most scenes with: Chelsea Newman (5)
Scenes with Rick 6
Rick
Wow. You're being incredibly cool to Nikki.
23 days until that rabid little hamster gets married and quits her job, which is gonna be great for me. And whether you know it or not, it's actually gonna be better for you.
Rick
I don't know, Chelsea. You know, when she's gone, you might just miss her. 'Cause deep down, she's a really good person. And on the surface, she is a really good person.
Okay. I'm done with you. I'm talking to the boss. [bends down to talk to Rick's penis] Listen, stretch, Nikki Natoli is bad for you. You stay away from her.
Rick
I'm not sure he heard you. You might wanna slap him around a little bit.
I'm sure you beat him enough.
Rick
Hey, did you guys hear about the Hooters that's opening down Route 10?
Hooters? Mm-hmm. Please. I'm gonna open a bar called Wieners. And all the waiters would have to wear a speedo with just the tip of their wiener sticking out of the top.
Rick
Nobody wants to see penis cleavage.
TTodd
Especially at my eye level.
[after Tommy walks into the bar] It's Tommy.
Rick
Did you just flip your hair?
Rick
But you are putting on lip gloss.
I also hedged the runway, do you wanna talk about it?
Rick
Chelse, don't tell me what I can't do.
Oh, my God. You are sporting, like, a giant power boner right now.
Rick
No. You just can't handle the fact that I have authority over you.
No, I can't handle the fact that you're being so bossy.
Rick
Right. Nobody can tell you anything. That's why you have such healthy relationships.
Okay, your healthiest relationship in the last 5 years has been with a tub of petroleum jelly.
[Chelsea introduces her new boyfriend Robert to her friends]
Rick
Hey, man. Oh, nice basket.
RRobert
Thank you. I like women.
Rick
Oh. [laughs] No, no, no. I was talking about your picnic basket. I like women, too.
RRobert
You're bisexual. Good for you.
Rick
All right, you guys. Go ahead and try this. [gives Chelsea and Olivia each a shooter]
[after trying the shooter] Oh, Rick, I'd hate to say this about alcohol in any form, but... Uhh.
Rick
What? What do you mean, "uhh"? It's great. It's lavender-infused vodka with a hint of cream and a cactus liqueur.
That's not a drink. It's a candle you buy at a lesbian bookstore.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Are You There, Chelsea? pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
Are You There, Chelsea? · 24 quotes
