[A harmonica version of "Home on the Range" plays in the background. A butterfly flies to a trail. "Kentucky wilderness 1767" appears on the screen, then disappears. A blue rabbit and a purple rabbit hop into view, sniffing each other, and the ground. Suddenly, a tree is falling. They hop away. Suddenly, the song changes to upbeat music. A swarm of bees flies for their lives. One bee stops to look left and right and flies to the swarm as Daniel Boone drives his oxen-driven wagon, pushing down a tree]
[singing offscreen] Daniel Boone was a great big guy. Yes, a really big guy. He knocks down trees and frightens off bees so they'll cry.
[A swarm of bees flies up as Daniel Boone knocks down a couple of trees, using his wagon. A bee flies into the camera, with the inside of his mouth filling the screen. Wipe to Daniel Boone]
[hopping off his wagon] Kentucky at last! I'm gonna build me a little log cabin right here, then a log cabin for my oxen, then a summer cabin. The only thing I love more than building cabins is chopping down trees. [chops down a tree] Birch is good wood for clothespins. [and another...] This oak'll make a dandy shelf. [and several more...wipe to him and his wagon outside Slappy Squirrel's tree] Well, I'll be kissed by a wolverine, a bessemer elm! That's the best wood around for makin' a front door.
[singing offscreen] Daniel Boone saw a great big tree. An attractive tree. But he didn't know it was home to a squirrel named Slappy.
[Inside, Slappy and her nephew, Skippy, are making candles over a cauldron of hot wax]
How come we're making so many candles, Aunt Slappy?
Skippy, it's the 1700s. What'd you expect? Rollerblading?
[Suddenly, the tree begins to shake]
What's that?
Maybe my colon. I hope not. I'll go find out. [goes outside to find Boone chopping down her tree] Hey! You break this tree, you're gonna pay for it!
Looky here, you old squirrel. I'm Daniel Boone, the best frontiersman that ever lived!
Well, I'm Slappy Squirrel, and I'm so old my blood is solid. What are you doing to my tree?
I'm fixin' to make it into the front door of my new cabin. Now, git, or I'll make a cap out of ya!
[slamming the door] I got yer cap right here.
No old squirrel's gonna stand between me and my cabin!
[As Boone keeps chopping, Slappy peeks out of an upper window, holding a cauldron of hot wax]
Excuse me, Boone? Is there any chance you might find another tree?
No!
I was hoping you'd say that. [pours hot wax on top of Boone, freezing him mid-swing] Maybe he can rent himself out as a menorah. [laughs]
More from this episode
All quotes from this episode →More Animaniacs quotes · These quotes come from Wikiquote's Animaniacs pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.