Angel · Season 5
[barges into Angel's office] Hello, big guy! Need another car. Afraid this last one ended up in the drink... [stops in mid-thought when he sees puppet Angel sitting at the desk]
[anxiously] Spike...
[staring] Look at you.
[gesturing with his hands] Just turn around and walk away.
[still staring] You're a--
Spike!
You're a bloody puppet! [starts laughing uncontrollably]
What are you people looking at? Well?!
They're looking at the wee little puppet man.
[after beating Spike, to the bemused staff] Yes, I'm a puppet. Doesn't mean you don't have work to do. [walking back to his office] Harmony, get my call list.
Um...
Spike needs a car.
[to Harmony] You heard the puppet.
[about Angel] He's realized Nina has feelings for him.
Well, took long enough.
He can be rather dense.
Um... By the way, my car is in the shop again and I was thinking--
Of course. [picks up the phone]
Maybe, you and I, we could--
[holds up his hand to silence her] Yes, Ms. Burkle needs a driver to take her home tonight. That's right: 511 Windward Circle.
[Angel tries to sew up an open slit on his head and fails.]
Stupid fingers! [string snaps] Stupid string!
Well... of course, I—ahem— ignored it completely, changed the subject, and locked her in a cage.
[looks up from his papers] Sorry. What?
No, it's not. It's time to kick your ass all the way back to hell.
I'm gonna study, mom. I'm gonna learn every damn thing they know up there, and then figure out some stuff they don't. And I'll be careful. I'll even be dull, boring. Cross my heart.
[cut to Fred menacingly screaming and burning demons with a flame-thrower]
Kind of cool, physiologically. They reproduce by vomiting up crystals that attract and mutate the microbes around them to form eggs.
Are you trying to turn me on?
[Angel has been run through with a large sword by Spike; there's a creepy demon bug on his back, dangling from where the sword exits his body]
Fuss, fuss. The thing was about to strike. It was on your back. What was I supposed to do?
Ask me to turn around.
Heat of battle. There wasn't time.
You just like stabbing me.
I--I'm shocked-- shocked that you'd say that. I much prefer hitting you with blunt instruments.
[singing] Three little maids who, all unwary,/ Come from a ladies' seminary,/ Freed from its genius tutelary--/ Three little maids from school!/ Three little maids --
[Gunn notices Wesley is at his door.]
[rapping] ...and ya don't stop with all the ladies in the... gangsta but ... go [spoken] What's up?
I should ask you. You seem unutterably cheery.
I am. I am. Look...I gotta be straight with you, 'cause this is kinda blowin' my mind.
Tell me.
Fred and I are gettin' back together. [Wesley's smile melts] She was so keyed up from last night's fight, she asked me over. We ended up talkin' for hours, like old times. Then, all of a sud...I can't even keep this up, 'cause your face is gonna make me weep. Wes, I am so messin' with you.
Harmony just pulled me out of a very promising poker game down in Accounts Receivable, so this better be good. Oh, and, by the way, all the guys down there agree that astronauts don't stand a chance against cavemen, so don't even start.
Look, I can't do this anymore.
Admitting defeat, are you?
You and me. This isn't working out.
[mock-dramatic] Are you saying we should start annoying other people?
There's a hole in the world. Feels like we ought to have known.
I've never flown before.
I've been in a helicopter. They don't... (looks nervously out the window) go this high.
Back to the mother country. Hey, after we save Fred, we should hit the West End, take in a show.
I've never seen Les Miz.
(scoffs) Trust me, half way through the first act, you'll be drinking humans again.
Can't lose her, Spike.
We won't.
I lost Cordy.
[dying in his arms] Wesley, why can't I stay?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Angel pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
