Angel Season 3 quotes

Wesley

[to Rondell] If you don't mind, I'd prefer a clean kill. The last time I was merely wounded. It took months to heal. Wounded, if I recall, in an attempt to help you.

Cordelia

Look, this is really urgent. I know Lorne pays you to cast this spell. What will it take for you to lift it?

(in sequence) This is not a debt you can pay.

Cordelia

(insulted) You don't know that. My credit has been very good this last year.

(in sequence) Only Angel is equipped to make good on this debt.

Cordelia

Angel. (makes raspberry noise) I don't know. You know, for a guy who's a couple of centuries old, not very big with the wise investing. (pause, then understanding) And when you say "equipped", that isn't what you mean, is it?

(together) Mmmm...Angel.

Cordelia

Got it. And eww.

Gunn

No matter what else, I think I proved that you can trust me when I could have killed you and I didn't.

Angel

No. You'll prove that I can trust you when the day comes that you have to kill me -- and you do.

(looking at Cordelia's fashion magazine) Why do girls want to look like that? I spent years in a cave starving, what's their excuse?

Cordelia

(on Fred) She's got the big puppy love. I mean, who wouldn't? You're handsome and brave and heroic, emotionally stunted, erratic, prone to turning evil, and let's face it, a eunuch.

Angel

Hey! How can you...I'm not a eunuch.

Cordelia

Angel, it's just a figure of speech.

Angel

Find another one.

Cordelia

I just mean that sex is a no-no for you because of the whole "if you know perfect bliss you'll turn evil curse." Really no cure for that, is there?

Wesley

(about Angel making out with someone on his desk) This isn't like him.

Cordelia

What? This is totally like him. Doing the mystery dance with some cheap blonde?

Brunette. She was a cheap brunette.

Cordelia

You're right. This isn't like him.

Angel

Hi.

Hey. How's your head? S-Sorry about all that...

Angel

No, I gather I had it coming.

Uh, yes.

Angel

Fred, I've been meaning to talk to you about something.

Mm-hmm. Okay. Is this about how you're not like other men... what, with that curse and all? And, how you're really fond of me, but that's as far as it goes?

Angel

Um... Yeah.

Cordelia explained it to me. She said you'd probably just screw it up.

Angel

Oh, she did, did she? Well, she's probably right. What?

It's like something out of Fitzgerald. [sighs] The man who can have everything but love. Well, maybe in some ways, you're better off, because love is... Well, in a way, it's everything. But it's also heartache and dissappointment. And those are good things to avoid.

Cordelia

Angel, Willow's on the phone. She's alive. Buffy's alive.

Buffy?

Cordelia

Lemme break it down for you, Fred.

Oh, Angel, I know that I am a Slayer, and you're a vampire and it would be impossible for us to be together, but--

But... my gypsy curse sometimes prevents me from seeing the truth. Oh, Buffy...

Yes, Angel?

I love you so much, I almost forgot to brood.

And just because I sent you to Hell that one time doesn't mean that we can't just be friends.

Or possibly more?

Gasp! No! We mustn't!

Kiss me!

Bite me!

Angel

[entering] How 'bout you both bite me?

You're back!

Gunn

How'd it go?

Angel

I think those two pretty much summed it up.

Cordelia

(on Fred's invention) God, I really wish she wouldn't leave her toys laying around.

Gunn

Ooh, pretty wicked looking toy.

Wesley

I'll say. It almost looks like a spring-loaded decapitation device.

Cordelia

Or it makes toast. With her you never know.

And to think, we were wondering when to call the police on a bunch of superheroes.

Angel

Oh, I'm not really a hero.

Gunn

More like a blood-sucking fiend.

Well frankly, Angel, I don't care if you drink pig's blood, cow's blood, or those froofy little imported beers. You saved my little girl.

Angel

Well, I wouldn't have had to if she hadn't gone all Amazonian and whacked that thing with a golf club.

Well, I'll tell you. I haven't seen a stroke like that since Nicklaus took on Gary Player in the '63 - -

Bob Hope Desert Classic (laugh together like old friends)

Gunn

(after Fred's invention launches an axe through the Durslar beast's head) So. Not a toaster.

Cordelia

Fred can barely tie her shoes without Mr. 'oh, you're my big, fat hero!' around.

Angel

[quietly] You think I'm fat?

Cordelia

[to Wesley and Gunn] Hey, Mr. and Mrs. Bickerson! A little focus, please.

Angel

[Looks at the walls] Are you gonna remember everything that's up there?

Well, sure. It's a story. Once upon a time, there was a girl who lived all alone in a horrible cave - so far from home it made her chest hurt. And every day in that horrible cave, the girl tried to figure out a way to escape. None of her plans ever succeeded, of course, and she'd almost given up hopin' - when one day, just like in a fairy tale - a handsome man rode up on a horse and saved her, and took her back to his castle. Now you'd think that was the end, wouldn'tcha? Dumb old fairy tales and their happily ever afters. But see, the minute they got back to the castle, the handsome man went away again. And even though she didn't mean to - didn't want to - high up in that castle the girl just built herself another cave. Hoping he would save her again. [Looks at Angel] But you can't save me this time. Can you?

Gunn

[playing a video game] Dead! So dead! So very, very dead. Just how dead are you, huh?

Angel

I'm tired of being the dead one.