[to Doyle] You're a lot smarter than you look. Of course, you look like a retard.
S1I Fall to Pieces
What is stalking today like the third most popular sport among men?
'Fourth, after luge
S1Rm w/a Vu
[Cordelia has been bemoaning her miserable life.]
Well, I don't know if I can help with the acting, but about the apartment?
What?
If you ever wanna, you know, spend one night away from the place? Maybe give me a call.
Well, stranger things have happened. No, wait--they really haven't. [Cordelia leaves and Doyle sits down in Angel's office.]
She's really something, isn't she? It's like wrestling a tiger just to get to know her. Tell me stuff.
What stuff?
About Cordelia.
Well, I... I know she can't type or file. Until today I had some hope regarding the phone.
Who's Aura?
I think she's one of Cordelia's group. People called them the Cordettes. Bunch of girls from wealthy families. They ruled the high school, decided what was in, who was popular. It was like the Soviet Secret Police, if they cared a lot about shoes.
[Still dripping, Angel juggles a stack of Cordelia's luggage.]
Get this. I tried to call Doyle--I have sunk that low--and there was no answer. So here I am. Not that you were the last resort, it's just that I had nowhere else left to go. Roaches! Live ones, dead ones, all skinny feet and creepy antlers.
Antlers?
Oh my God, I wonder how many stowed away in that bag! Also? The water is all brown and spurty and not hot! I am dying for a shower. I actually smell. Smell me. I never smell. I didn't know I could. I'm just going to have to stay here until I find a decent place--however long that takes. And when I do, you're completely invited over. Hey, you can just dump my stuff on your couch. Or let me have the bed... whatever you feel good about. Also, my suitcase is still out in the hall.
[Doyle is horrified to find Cordelia staying over at Angel's place.]
No... no-no-no-no! Angel, man, how could you?
How could I what?
You knew I was crazy about her--and I was wearing her down, too. But no--handsome, brooding, vampire guy has to swoop in, all sensitive mouth and overhanging forehead! How about leaving some scraps for the homely-looking fellas who don't turn evil when they get some?
Cordelia stayed over because there's something wrong with her place. I was on the sofa.
Oh. That's okay, I suppose.
[looking at apartment] Oh, my gosh. Have you ever seen anything so beautiful?
[looking at Cordelia] Nope. Never.
[Kate checks police archives for past murders in Cordelia's apartment.]
Now you're talking like a detective.
I am a detective.
Well, you see, the thing about detectives is, they have résumés. And business licenses. And last names. Pop stars and popes -- those are the one-name guys.
You got me. I'm a pope.
[voicemail] Angel Investigations? We help the hopeless. If that's you, leave a message.
Cordy it says die!
MMaude
You'd better be sorry, you stupid little bitch.
[stopping crying and looking slowly up at Maude] I’m a bitch.
MMaude
Take off the bed sheets, make a noose. Go on. It’ll all be over soon.
[getting up] I’m not a sniveling, whiny little Cry-Buffy. I’m the nastiest girl in Sunnydale history. I take crap from no one.
MMaude
You are going to make yourself a noose and put it around--
Back off, Polygrip. You think you’re bad? All mean and haunty? Picking on poor pathetic Cordy? Well, get ready to haul your wrinkly, translucent ass out of this place, because lady, the bitch is back.
MMaude
Do you think I'm going to take that from trash like you?
I'll tell you what I think. I think you're gonna pack your little ghost bags, and get the hell out of my house!
MMaude
[shrieks]
[on the phone in her new apartment] God, Aura, I can't believe I miss your calls. It's that incompetent girl at work. But things are going great. Well, my new apartment for one thing. Celebrities are practically on top of me. Oh, Steve Paymer. That's Dave Paymer's brother, lives right down the hall. Oh, you'd know him if you saw him. And my view, it's amazing. Yeah, I have a roommate, but it's cool, I never see him. [Her can of diet root beer slides away from her on the sofa table and she puts her hand over the receiver.] Hey, hey. Phantom Dennis, put that back. [Can slides back and to Aura.] All in all, it's working out great. [the TV turns on and Cordelia covers up the receiver again] Dennis, when I'm on the phone, that's quiet time. [TV turns off] Thanks. Sorry. So, where were we? Tell me who's wearing what in Sunnydale. No. Well, she never did have any taste. [laughing] She's so nasty. [laughs]
S1Sense & Sensitivity
[Angel has just finished off a tentacled monstrosity in the sewer.]
Make sure you cut off all the limbs and both heads this time. Remember to bury the parts separately. [tosses sword to Doyle] I don't want this thing coming back to life again.
That's it?
I'm gonna go clean out the nest. I'll see you back at the office. [he leaves]
Okay, am I wrong in thinking that a "please" and "thank you" is generally considered good form when requesting a dismemberment?
He appreciates us, in his own... unappreciative way.
Boy, I'm scared. And excited. And consumed with dread. And glad you're here.
I doubt even one of Little Tony's hired guns would try something in a roomful of cops.
What? Oh, that death-threat hanging overhead. No, I meant speaking in public. [starts across room toward her father]
What's that old saw? Picture your audience in their underwear?
[distractedly looks Angel up and down] Way ahead of you. [Angel catches up just as Kate stops in front of her father and kisses his cheek.] Happy retirement, Daddy.
TTrevor
Who's this?
This is Angel, he's a friend. Angel, this is my father.
Hello, Mr. Lockley. [they shake] Congratulations.
TTrevor
For what? All I did was live this long and not get shot.
Why do you do that?
TTrevor
Do what?
Pretend important things don't matter.
TTrevor
[eyes on Kate] So. Angel. [looks at Angel] How long you been seeing Katie?
We're, ahh, we're pretty new friends.
TTrevor
Well, good to see her out with a man. I was starting to wonder if she didn't lean in another direction altogether.
[Angel, Cordelia and Doyle have just broken in to a back room at the precinct. Angel climbs down and turns to look at the broken window.]
Wow. That's vandalism.
It's okay. We'll take care of it later.
We should leave a note.
Come on.
What's the magic word?
Urgh!
I don't think 'urgh' is a magic word, if one could call it a word, and certainly not a magic one.
We don't have time for this.
There's always time to be considerate of others, Cordelia.
Oh, please.
[smiles] There. That wasn't so hard now was it?
So, you were right. Papazian's planning something.
What'd ya hear?
Papazian's planning something.
That's it?
Johnny Red says, quote, 'Papazian's planning something.'
Huh. I thought he might be planning something.
See? You were right.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Angel pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.