Joanie Dodds quotes from America's Next Top Model

Joanie

[about Jade in confessional] Jade just shut up!

Joanie

[about Jade in confessional] She's not from this planet, so she says. And you know what? I think I believe it.

Joanie

[in confessional about Gina] The freakout award goes to Gina!

Joanie

[After Nnenna kisses the male model] He totally pitched a tent while they were in Africa. And not one you camp in.

Joanie

[in commercial] I love coming to Los Angeles. I love entertaining my friends. CoverGirl gives me confidence... to go out and make it through the day. [J Alexander bursts ouy laughing] Easy, breezy, beautiful CoverGirl.

Joanie

[with a basket on her head] I'm a basket case!

Joanie

[about the products used by the makeup artists] I own that one! And the one for your face, too!

Joanie

[during the mermaid photo shoot] My boobs are falling out. I would be extremely embarassed if the boobs fell out.

Joanie

[laughing in confessional about Furonda's dance] It wasn't anything Thai! It was hula, it was club, it was everywhere!

Joanie

[in confessional about Danielle winning the title of America's Next Top Model] I'm disappointed. I would have been so happy if it was me but I'm okay. The best girl won!

[to Dani when Dani made racist comments about her] So what type of racism do you have for people to think that you're racist?

For one thing, I don't believe in affirmative action. It's like the biggest load of crap I've ever heard in my whole life ever.

Are you serious?

Mmm-hmm. The color of your skin means absolutely nothing.

Okay, perfect example: Abercrombie & Fitch, where I used to work. I was the only black girl to work at Abercrombie & Fitch.

Because black people don't...

Because what?

Why would black people go to–

What does that mean?

Why would–Calm down. I'm not saying anything mean.

No, no, no. Do you realize what you said to me out loud?

You hadn't let me finish.

No, wait. Wait. Do you realize what you just said to me out loud?

You don't think before you speak, and your words are just–

Joanie

You need to watch what you say.

Yeah, you need to watch what you say.

I am thinking! I am thinking!

No, you need to watch what you say before you say it.

[in confessional about Dani] Dani is always coming across racist, which... She says she's not, but everyone swears she is. Just because she's always is saying racist remarks.

[in confessional] I'm not the kind of person that's gonna sugarcoat things. I'm not gonna tell people to be like, "I'm sorry I feel that way, I'm sorry it offends you." 'Cause I'm not sorry. [to Danielle] Why would I go apply for a job at, like, some Fubu retail whatever? Why would I do that?

[to Dani] Don't ever, as long as you are alive, ever make another statement like that around me! [in confessional about Dani] Dani rubbed me the wrong way. She pops off at the mouth not thinking about what she says. And it gets her in trouble, and it's gonna continue to get her into trouble.

[to Danielle] You want me to offend you. So everything that I say–

No, that's not what I meant!

Yeah, but the thing is the whole table heard it. It's not like [points at Danielle] she's not the only one who feels that way. Everyone feels exactly how she feels.

Joanie

And we're not trying to talk down to you.

Well, it doesn't matter. I know how I feel, and you don't! So you can't tell me that I'm racist when I know I'm not!

[on the phone to Wendy] ...and we couldn't even get in the kitchen. [Jade knocks on the door]

[looking up to Jade] Yeah?

[to Wendy] Sorry, I need to use the phone. I have not used the phone, like, since I got my haircut. May I please use the phone?

[to Jade] I'm almost done. I had to get up at three o'clock in the morning. When I get off, I will let you know.

[in confessional] I hadn't talked to my family since my makeover, so everything's building up inside me. [to Furonda] I haven't used the phone at all...but everybody else has used the phone. [in confessional] I don't know who I am right now. I'm lost, I need balance. [to Furonda] Yo, I'm tired of struggling. I feel like I am the undiscovered supermodel, you know what I'm saying? I live in New York City, the belly of the beast. I'm tired of this.

[in confessional about herself, Jade and Furonda] I'm in the corner laughing. Furonda's laughing, which is just, like, adding fuel to the fire.

This is ugly and this is what I said in the car, saying that this was gonna get ugly! This is a competition! This is not America's Next Top Best Friend! I wanna be America's Next Top Model because I have everything that it takes to be that. [in confessional] I know I'm a threat. I'm a strong-ass woman, I'm a soldier sister. Recognize.

[in confessional] Maybe she's bipolar, or something? Because the behavior that she displayed was just totally erratic.

I am blonde, I am short! I'm–I'm unbalanced. You're wearing a crown on your head. You look ridiculous!

Well, you're up here in your panties.

Of course I'm in my panties, and I look damn good! Broke-ass crown, they ain't even real diamonds.

[to Jade when finished on the phone] You need to not take your attitude out on other people.

[to Wendy going in to use the phone] Goodbye, J-Lo! Goodbye, J-Lo! [Wendy walks into the bathroom with Joanie, Sara, and Furonda]

Joanie

Dammit, she (Jade) woke me up!

You shouldn't have to bring someone else down to bring yourself high.

Tyra

Well, you guys are the Top 9. So, you've gotten this far. Is it hard to walking into the judging room, and... [sighs] I've been working so hard, I'm so tired, you guys. So...I'm so sorry, you guys. I don't mean to be all weak in front of you, but I'm just so light-headed.

Somebody bring her some water.

Tyra

I'm alright. [she "faints" soon after getting up from the couch]

Oh, gosh, Tyra!

Joanie

Oh, no!

Where's her pulse? Check her pulse!

Tyra

[gets up] I'm alright. [long pause] TODAY YOU GUYS ARE GOING TO LEARN ABOUT ACTING!! WE'RE GOING TO LEARN ABOUT ACTING! ACTING, ACTING, ACTING! THAT WAS FAKE!!

That was a good job!

Tyra

[notices Furonda crying and walks to her] Aw! Are you okay?

[in confessional about Tyra] I think Tyra's too good of an actress, and that was a very mean trick she played on us!

Nick Cannon

The next game is called Questions.

[in confessional about the questions game] The questions game is where you would ask a question, and the person would ask a question back.

Nick Cannon

[to Joanie and Brooke] A TV and a remote.

[to Joanie] Why do you keep changing me all the time? [affirmative buzzer rings with a green checkmark, saying "question"]

Joanie

[to Brooke] Why is your antennae all crooked? [affirmative buzzer rings with a green checkmark, saying "question"]

Nick Cannon

[to Jade and Furonda] A job interview.

[to Furonda] I'm sorry you don't have the right qualifications. [a negative buzzer rings and a large red x appears on the screen saying "Not a Question"]

Nick Cannon

[to Jade] You gotta ask questions.

Oh, see, this is confusing. [to Nick Cannon] Man...

Nick Cannon

[to Jade] The game is called Questions!

Joanie

[in confessional about Jade] Jade, she just sucks at all of the stuff that we do.

Nick Cannon

[to Jade] Start it all off with who, what, when, where and why. If you start with one of those, you're gonna be good.

[to Nick Cannon] Alright, man.

Nick Cannon

[to Jade] I'ma give one where you can figure it out. A rich man and a poor man.

[to Joanie] My is bigger than yours.[another negative buzzer rings and a large red x appears on the screen saying "Definitely Not a Question"]

Joanie

[to Jade] You totally just lost!

[in confessional] You know, even though it was fun, laughter and jokes, that wasn't humor to me. I was just like what?! [affirmative buzzer rings with a green checkmark, saying "question"] What?! [affirmative buzzer rings with a green checkmark, saying "question"] What?! [affirmative buzzer rings with a green checkmark, saying "question"]

[rapping to Nnenna] Walk is good, might not fall, your head's as shiny as a big rubber ball.

Joanie

[rapping to everyone about her team] Yeah, my name is Joanie, you know what I mean, it's me and this white dude on this here black team, I got a volleyball diva, a hot Latina and two African queens! [in confessional] Jade comes in to "rap".

[rapping to Furonda] My name is Jade, the ace of spades. Furonda, my dear, I know your skin is bumpy, but my skin is flawless and you look really lumpy.

Nick Cannon

Oh!

Joanie

[in confessional about Jade's rap] Nobody else took it there like nobody was like, "Yo Jade, you look like an 85-year-old woman."

[rapping to Sara] Yo, you’re blonde, you’re too tall for this industry, you know what, I’m in this real if you’re not because let me tell you they're gonna not blow up your body.

Joanie

[in confessional about Jade's attitude] I feel like Jade tries to make you feel low so that she can bring herself up.