Nigel Barker quotes from America's Next Top Model

Nigel

[to Brandy who is about to do the alien photoshoot] Because you had to wait so long?

Nigel

[to Sarah who is doing the alien photoshoot] Right there.

Nigel

[in confessional about Brita's alien photoshoot] Brita, she really needs to learn to relax.

Nigel

[about Brittany] She's an exaggeration. She's like a walking exclamation mark. And it's not pretty.

Nigel

[about Danielle spraining her ankle] Falling is definitely your expertise.

Nigel

[in confessional about Michelle's photoshoot] I was inspired by Michelle. She used the fear. She models.

Nigel

[about Jenah] She's not a bad girl. She's a good girl. Her personality is getting in the way of herself.

Nigel Barker

[mocking Kayla's performance] This water has an iguana in it, and Corona in it, and it has some Asahi berries.

Nigel Barker

Nicole isn't truly present in this shot—and the mouth, you know, it's too tight. [unintelligible] sort of cat's bottom. [purses his lips to illustrate]

Nigel Barker

[to Jenacia] You, young lady, were late to my shoot.

Janice Dickinson

[to Jenacia] What?!

Nigel Barker

[to Jenacia] You didn’t show up until two hours after.

[to Nigel Barker] It might have been three.

[to Jenacia] You’re wasting other people’s money.

Janice Dickinson

[to Jenacia] 5’7 is a little short to be a model so we have to compensate like punctuality.

Tyra

[to Jenacia] Time is money.

This is my signature walk and this is the walk that's gonna make me famous. Actually, I'm here because I got chosen out of six thousand girls, and twelve were chosen for America's Next Top Model.

Tyra

[after the judges watch Camille's clip at judging] I have to do a Janice. [buries her face in her arms]

Janice

Camille, what were you thinking?!

Nigel

Time and time again, we've talked to you about attitude.

Tyra

You know what it looked like to me when you ran off the whole America's Next Top Model? [imitating Camille] "Look, bitch, I was chosen over a million people, so I don't know what your problem is!"

When the go-see process was over, I won the award.

Tyra

Yeah, they said you presented yourself very well, but this was a test of your go-sees, and this was a test of a go-see from Hell.

Nigel

Toccara, there's just something about her. She's interesting.

Janice

Yeah, a lot of flesh!

Janice

Eva's still short.

Nigel

Perhaps she'll grow by next week?

Tyra

[to Yaya] Why did you choose the cowboy hat?

[to Tyra] It's more on the simple side compared to the other hats, so I can go crazy with accessories and express myself without being cliché.

Nigel

[to Yaya] Yaya, I think you look beautiful. I think everyone probably pegged you as going for the typical African hat.

[to Yaya] You're I feel... half African, half cowgirl. Looks like you're about to ride a giraffe. I think... I'm not feeling it.

[to Yaya] You have this intensity to prove your, sort of, African-ness. And I think that sometimes it's overbearing. It's just too much, it's sort of a layer on top of a layer.

[to the judges] In response to trying to prove myself as an African, that's just where I come from. It's very natural to me... and [points at the African hat on the judges' panel] I did not chose that hat for the very specific reason that it's very cliché. The fabric that it's made from is very artificial, very cheap fake kente!

Nigel

[to Yaya] Yaya.

[to Nigel] I didn't have the time–I know I'm running on.

Tyra

[to Yaya] There's a different way of explaining yourself and being defensive. And you're being very defensive, and it's not attractive.

[to Tyra] Just because we had a talk about, you know, Afro-centricity before, and it's kind of... misunderstood.

Tyra

[to Yaya] I'm all about, like, expressing yourself and your culture, but it's still done in a fashion way. You want your outfit to be, "Look at me!" and this outfit is, "Look over there!"

Janice

[referring to Rebecca's "Virgo" photograph] It's a pedestrian! It just doesn't register model!

Even though you're the virgin, you're the virgin that everybody wants.

Nigel

Right.

So you have to be very sensual.

Janice

Tyra, when you're strutting down the runway doing Victoria's Secret, wearing those bat wings, what are you thinking?

Tyra

I ain't thinking I'm no virgin.