J. Alexander quotes from America's Next Top Model

[to Tyra after watching Fatima walk during the mock runway challenge] Off with her head!

Elyse

If I don't win this contest, I'll start medical school in August.

That's a lot of work.

Elyse

Oh, I know.

I might look like the All-American girl, but I don't have the All-American job because I'm a stripper.

That's the All-American job to me!

It's really funny because it's about to fall but you're not lettin' it happen.

It's not gonna fall.

Jay Manuel

[to Brandy] I'm reaching a point where... Ciao! Here talk to J.

[to Brandy] What's the problem?

[to Miss. J Alexander] No problem with me.

[to Jayla] So you're on the Jehovah's layaway plan.

[to J Alexander] Yes, that's it.

[to Jayla] Buy now, pray later.

Tyra

[to Gina] So why do you want to be America's Next Top Model?

[to Tyra] I think that there's just not enough Asian models out there. I feel that I can break down that barrier, and I think it's our responsibility.

Tyra

[to Gina] You say that you're not the girl next door. You're wild. What do you mean by that?

[to Tyra] If you were to ask me to get down and strip naked, I will do it. That's just how I am.

Tyra

[to Gina] Well...

[to Tyra] But the thing is, like, my parents kinda have a thing with that sort of stuff. [a picture of Gina with her parents at her high school graduation flashes on screen] I mean, I don't know if I would go against my parents. I—I'm not sure. I mean—I kinda believe more in the American culture more than my parents.

[to Gina] Oh!

[to the judges] I'm not into Asian guys.

Tyra

[to Gina] Why not?

[to Tyra] The thing is, they're a lot shorter than I am, which is something that I can't tolerate. [J Alexander laughs]

Jay Manuel

[to Gina] You've come so full circle from your initial statement.

Tyra

[to Gina] But do you understand how you were a contradiction? First you were saying, "I'm Asian, I'm strong, I'm Korean." And then you're saying, "Screw Korean boys, and I want a white boy."

[in confessional] I don't know what exactly happened, but I got confused and I started contradicting myself because certain things just started coming out, and it didn't make any sense.

Tyra

[to Kathy] Come on in! [Kathy walks in]

[to Tyra] No!

Tyra

[to Kathy] No!

[to Tyra] My goodness!

[to Kathy] My goodness!

[in home video] This is my home! [back to the present to Tyra, J. Alexander and Jay Manuel] I might not be the tallest or the most tan or the one with the biggest boobs or the one with the clearest skin but I feel it!

Tyra

Brooke, when we look at you, we think Victoria's Secret, we think high fashion, so you know who's hair you're gonna get?

Mine. [everyone starts laughing]

[to Tyra Banks, Mr. Jay and J. Alexander] Hi! My name is Jaslene. I am nineteen years old.

[to Jaslene] Did you learn all that in Catholic School?

[in audition home video] I should be America's Next Top Model because I devote myself. Every day is like a fashion opportunity. [to Tyra, Mr. Jay and J. Alexander] I can portray so many different looks.

[to Melrose] You look crazy! [laughs with Eugena]

[to Eugena] This is my look!

[to Melrose] Yes it looks crazy! [Melrose does her makeover photoshoot]

[to Frédéric Fekkai] You have to make it darker!

[to A.J.] Why don't we just change the other part?

[to Frédéric Fekkai] No! I hate this color! Please! [in confessional about her makeover] When I first got my hairstyle I was in complete shock. It's still a little bit too light for my liking and I'm not a smooth girl. I like spikes. [does makeover photoshoot]

Jay Manuel

[to J Alexander about seeing Monique crying out loud] J.! Miss. Monique. Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

[placing a towel over her head and crying out loud to the hair stylist] Oh my gosh!!!!!! Why?!!!!!!!

[to Jay Manuel about seeing Monique crying out loud] If she wants to cry, then let her cry.

[to Jay Manuel about seeing Monique crying out loud] That's what she said. She said that nobody's ever seen her without her weave.

Jay Manuel

Oh, please! Look at that picture of Tyra on the wall! There's Tyra without her weave on! [later goes with J Alexander to check up on Monique, who is having a meltdown over her makeover in the bathroom] Girl, I am not in the mood for these girls.

[to Monique] Come here, girl.

Jay Manuel

[to Monique] What's the story?

[crying out loud to Jay Manuel and J Alexander] I'm just having a bad day! I can't even sleep 'cause it's like, the alarm's going off and...it's nothing I can't see!

Jay Manuel

[rolling his eyes at Monique] Do you want this career? This is not hard. You are getting a fresh hair weave by a master stylist, and if the alarm's going off, put in earplugs! [takes Monique with J Alexander, later in confessional] To see these young girls who supposedly wanted to be here so badly, to just kind of throw it off, and say, "Ugh! I don't like it!" [Monique does her makeover photoshoot] It just disgusts me, and it makes me not want to be here. [to all the girls] Guys, when you walk into this business, you walk into this business as blank canvases. I wish that when I was 18 or 19, I had people come in and take me to the next level. So, you hate your hair and you're actually being insulting to a master who's been in this business. [to A.J.] No, you were. Just listen for one second!

[to Jay Manuel] Right.

Jay Manuel

[referring to Monique] Miss Thing's crying up there because she got her tracks out and this, and that, and it's like...?! You're insulting our guests, you're insulting Tyra inevitably. I'm, like, over it! I'm just going to go home and sleep!

Nigel

[to Melrose] Box...

[to Melrose] Joyfully!

Aaaghhhh! Oh my God!!! Oh my God!!!!!!

Tyra

Why you screaming so loud?

Cause you're so pretty! Oh my God!!!

What about me?

You kinda want to take Kathleen home and look after her.

I don't!

[in front of Tyra, Jay Manuel and J. Alexander] Hey pretty lady... and Tyra.

[to Heather] Okay, wait a minute, girl! Which one is the pretty lady?

Tyra

[to Heather] This one or this one?

[to Tyra, Jay Manuel and J. Alexander] Oh, no! I wasn't trying to be insulting! You're all pretty!

Tyra

[to Heather] Tell me at thirteen years old you were diagnosed with something. What were you diagnosed with?

[to Tyra, Jay Manuel and J. Alexander] Actually it was Asperger's and A.D.H.D.. [in confessional] Asperger's Syndrome is described as a mild version of autism. It also includes the person being very awkward in social situations. The real problem I had as a child was the fact that I didn't have that many friends. They really had a hard time understanding me. I mean, I was wired differently.