Willie and ALF in “He Ain't Heavy, He's Willie's Brother”

Willie

[goes to the attic and reads a sign ALF wrote] Nice touch.

ALF

Subtle, but it makes a point.

Willie

I can understand your feelings, ALF. I can also understand your dilemma. What I can't understand is this note.

ALF

It's in English. What don't you understand?

Willie

[reading a note that ALF wrote] "Dear Neal, take some advice from a guy who loves you like a brother. There's a camper leaving town at noon either be in it or under it. Love, Anonymous."

ALF

I love when you read to me.

Willie

You left this on the kitchen table hoping that Neal would see it and think it was from me, didn't you?

ALF

Let him draw his own conclusions. I didn't say it was from his brother. Clever, yes?

Willie

If my brother wants to visit here for a while he's welcome, ALF.

ALF

Fine. But if you were more forceful and less sympathetic to freeloaders perhaps he'd get the hint.

Willie

I'm ending this conversation now. But before I go, I'd like you to imagine what my being less sympathetic to freeloaders might mean to the fate of another member of this household.

ALF

He's right. Kate would have been history a long time ago.