“ALF, you scared me. What are you doing?” – Lynn, ALF ... TV Quotes Database

[she heads in the house after her date ended] ALF, you scared me. What are you doing?

What am I doing? What are you doing? What happened to Randy?

That wasn't Randy, that was someone else.

Yeah. Someone who looks like a certain aging substitute novelist. Who shall remain last-nameless.

Ok, so it was Eddie. He just happened to be at the party, see--

Yeah, yeah, and I just fell off the garbanzo truck. Come on. This is the old ALFer. What gives?

Okay, I haven't really been dating Randy. I've only been tutoring him for an hour in English each night and then going to meet Eddie.

An hour a night? That's barely enough time for Randy to turn his book right side up.

ALF, please, don't tell mom and dad about this yet, ok? I know they'll like Eddie.

They just need some time to adjust. Don't tell them? You want me to lie?

No! No, you don't have to lie. Just don't bring it up. That's not lying.

Egad! What a loophole.

It's not like I'm never going to tell them. I just, I need to wait for the right moment. You know, like when they're in a really, really good mood.

Yeah, well, let me know when that happens. And I'll tell them about the untimely demise of Kate's porcelain ballerina.

You broke mom's porcelain ballerina?

Yeah. We were dancing the pas de duex from swan lake, and I dropped her in the toilet.

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