[ALF and the Tanners find out about the red car]
ALF stole a car.
I didn't steal it. I bought it. For Lynn.
I don't believe it.
It would've been here last week, but I held out for red.
I don't believe it!
It's true. Everybody wants red.
ALF, how did you buy this car?
I got it through my broker.
Broker? What broker?
The one I hired to sell the gold from my spaceship.
Wait, wait, wait. Let's just take this one step at a time. You bought a car?
Yes. The papers are in that envelope.
You have gold?
Had gold. All the plumbing on my ship was gold. Except for the bidet. That was platinum.
Uh-huh.
ALF, this is the most wonderful present anyone has ever given me.
Aw, you're just saying that.
No! No, I mean it. It's incredible.
[reading a letter] Schecter, Cosay, and Klein. Investment Brokers. Dear ALF, congratulations. Or should I say, congratulazione. I've sold the balance of your gold and will invest the proceeds. In that mango farm in Oxnard. All the best. Joel.
Look at this interior. [goes inside the red car]
The dashboard is burled mahogany, grown in the Ferrari family's private arboretum.
And check out these wheels.
Chrome. From Rome.
Oh, feel this leather.
Virgin ox. Albino virgin.
Oh, my gosh. Willie, look, a cellular phone.
Programmed for speed dialing. Come on, Willie, park your carcass on that virgin ox.
Yeah, come on, dad.
Yeah, dad. Park it.
Yeah? No, no. [refuses to get inside the car] I'm not getting in that car. I can't. ALF, we're not keeping the car.
What?
Why not, dad?
Yeah, Willie, how come?
Because, it's wrong.
[mimicking] Because it's wrong. Why don't we needlepoint that into a sampler!
Look, we are not keeping a car that cost $60,000.
90.
$90,000.
What's bugging you, Willie? Is it that your daughter drives a better car than you do?
That has nothing to do with it. We're returning this car. Call Joel.
I can't. He's in Palm Springs till Thursday.
Dad, please. I'll let you drive my car anytime you want.
You wanna see how the Gucci airbag works?
It's obvious we cannot have a rational conversation in the presence of a Ferrari.
Alright. We'll go to the kitchen.
No, we'll go into the kitchen. You stay here. Come on, Lynn. Don't touch that airbag!
Fine. I'll just preset the radio.
Joel.
More from this episode
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