[the Tanners bring an alien to the living room]
Here he comes! here he comes!
Brian stay with me, oh my gosh, it's hairy!
Let's put is over here.
Not on the couch!
Lynn, clear off the coffee table. Quick it's heavy!
Heavy and hairy!
[Willie opens the blanket and reveals it's an alien]
I can't believe it. What do you think it is?
A real alien!
Willie, Willie what is it?
I don't know. Brian's right. It's an ALF.
What?
And ALF and A.L.F. that's short for alien life form.
Can ALF stay in my room?
No, this thing is not staying in. It's not staying.
Why not? E.T. got to stay.
E.T. was a movie, this is real! This is on our coffee table!
This is incredible! Truly amazing, after all those years of wondering and hoping that it might be possible to contact alien life, I had it happen. It's a miracle. It's a fulfillment of a lifelong dream.
We've got to get rid of it!
Absolutely, we don't know anything about it. It could be dangerous, it could be diseased, it could be hostile or have hostile friends or acquaintances, it could be anything. Your mother's right we better report it to the authorities.
[while looking closer to ALF's face] But what if the authorities do something to it?
Yeah, what if they poke needles into it.
No, they wouldn't poke needles into it. Would they Willie?
Well they could I don't think they would but they could and they might.
I know this is very exciting, but I don't see another alternative. We got to report this. What other choice do we have?
Can I make a suggestion?
Sure. Why not? [he and the rest of the family realize ALF said that and get shocked]
Well, if it's not too much trouble, how about fixing my spaceship? [the Tanners are too shocked to answer] Hello. Read my lips.
It talks.
It's heavy, it's hairy, and it talks.
Good. Now, how about fixing my spaceship, so I can get my heavy hairy body out of here!
I'm not sure. I can fix your spaceship, I mean not tonight, not in the dark.
yeah you could use a light in the driveway
you know I’ve been meaning to put one out there but you know how it is you get busy with one thing and another
Willie!
Sorry, it just seem so human.
There's no need for name calling.
I don't think we should get to friendly, Willie?
She's right, let's have a snack now, will get friendly later.
Snack? What kind of a snack?
Got a cat.
You eat cats.
You can't eat Lucky.
No, no cat eating not in this house.
It, alright, how about a cat food? Can I could use the roughage?
Can we give out the cans, mom?
Please?
Please?
Alright, dented one.
Come on, ALF.
[Brian and Lynn take ALF to the kitchen]
We're going with you.
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