Lance Hunter quotes from Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.

May

Great. Coulson's in trouble, this place is crawling with armed Hydra agents, and we have no weapons.

Hunter

Not strictly true. [reveals batons and guns he was hiding in a serving tray] Buon appetito.

Bobbi

I love you.

May

I don't hate you quite as much.

Hunter

If we get to Malick, have we got the green light?

Coulson

You want to assassinate a former member of the World Council on Russian soil knowing that if we get caught, or our actions are tied to the US government in any way, that it'll be considered an act of war?

Hunter

So, you're saying...?

Fitz

Pretty sure that's gonna be a "no".

Coulson

It's a big "no"!

Hunter

Bobbi and I were on holiday picking mushrooms...

In the woods of Siberia in the dead of winter.

Hunter

Do you know a better place to find the jumbo chaga mushroom? Because I certainly do not.

You were caught with a weapon standing over a dead man.

Hunter

An unfortunate circumstance.

Bobbi

He was just doing his job.

Hunter

So was Stalin.

Bobbi

We took an oath. To BE the shield.

Hunter

To protect those in danger.

Hunter

[Ghost Rider's] the strangest thing I've ever heard. Except for the sexy robot that you made that became human and wanted you to stick the old...

Fitz

Please.

Hunter

...floppy into her love drive.

Fitz

Can we not talk about this, please?

Hunter

Copy that. Message received. Well, my life has been perfectly boring by comparison. Mercenary work, working with unscrupulous dirtbags like Rusty.

Fitz

How are things with Bobbi?

Hunter

Good. Yeah. We're 100% compatible... 50% of the time. Nearly got married again, until the ninjas showed up.

Fitz

So... you are together?

Hunter

Together forever, just... doing our own thing. Distance is our savior. How about you and Simmons? Did you find a way to work it out?

Fitz

Distance is our curse.

Hunter

So... you and Simmons?

Fitz

Yeah. Yeah, we're together now. Everyone knows. Even looked for a place together.

Hunter

Oh, congrats, mate. I remember when you couldn't even admit that you liked her.

Fitz

Maybe it should have stayed that way. Everything that keeps happening to us does seem like the universe doesn't want us to be together.

Hunter

The universe doesn't want or care about anything. And even if it did, why wouldn't it want you to be together? You two are so perfect for each other, it makes everyone a little bit nauseous.

Fitz

Maybe it's trying to protect her.

Hunter

From what?

Fitz

From me. From what I was in the Framework... 'cause that came from inside me. That... wasn't programming.

Fitz

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Careful. These are extremely volatile and unpredictable. Screw up once... you could lose a limb.

Hunter

Once we do this, that's it, no turning back.

Fitz

Let's do it.

Hunter

Okay. Release the ferrets.

Hunter

Brings back memories. We had some good times back in the day, in between all the bad times and being shot at and chased and attacked by monsters.

Fitz

Yeah. This place, the base, always felt like home. Like family.

Hunter

Ah, don't worry. You'll be together again soon.

Fitz

You're just saying that.

Hunter

Yeah, of course I am. They're stuck 70-odd years in the future, and our world's about to end. The odds, my friend, are not in your favor.

Fitz

Are they ever?

Hunter

I love you.

Fitz

I know.