Hercule Poirot quotes from Agatha Christie's Poirot

Poirot

[Introduces himself] Hercule Poirot.

Bwarrot?

Poirot

Poirot. [Mutters to himself] What kind of place is this?

Poirot

You care for Monsieur Lazarus?

He is rich.

Poirot

Oh-la-la, that is a terrible thing to say.

Better to say it myself than to have you say it for me.

Poirot

You are very intelligent, madame.

You'll be giving me a diploma next!

I say, you any farther?

Poirot

Comment?

You are going to get to the bottom of this, aren't you?

Poirot

I am the dog who stays on the scent, Commander, and does not leave it.

Hastings

[Chiding him for snooping through some love letters] Poirot, you really can't do that. It's not playing the game.

Poirot

We are not playing the game, Hastings. We're hunting down a murderer.

Poirot

I do not like these urgent messages, Miss Lemon.

I never reply to urgent messages. I know they're going to be unpleasant.

Poirot

It is satisfying, is it not, Chief Inspector, in a case when at last one knows everything?

I thought you already knew everything, Poirot.

Poirot

Well...

Hercule Poirot

You know, Hastings, sometimes I wish that I was not of such a moral disposition.

Arthur Hastings

Really?

Hercule Poirot

Would not Hercule Poirot do better than any criminal? Hercule Poirot would use his grey cells, eh? Hercule Poirot would change his modus operandi for every crime. Scotland Yard would never be able to pin him down.

I've heard such wonderful things about you. Perhaps you can do the impossible.

Hercule Poirot

The impossible, it pleases me always.

James Japp

Do you ever think of going to sea, Poirot?

Hercule Poirot

No, no, my friend. This is as close as I like to get.

Poirot

[Playing Monopoly] I will build a hotel on Fenchurch Street.

Hastings

You can't build a hotel on a railway station.

Poirot

Do not be absurd, Hastings. There are plenty of hotels at railway stations.

Hastings

But it's not in the rules.

Poirot

Well, then, Hastings, the rules are wrong!

Poirot

If you put your head in the mouth of the lion, you cannot complain if one day he bites it off, eh?

Hastings

[Aside to Miss Lemon] Never made a speculative investment in his life.

Poirot

And I still have my head, Hastings.

Mr. Poirot, I can't apologize enough.

Poirot

[Thinking he's there about Poirot's missing bank balance] I am very pleased to hear you say so personally.

Yes, I realize it's a little late but you see-

Poirot

Not at all, not at all, Lord Pearson. It is better late than never, as you English say. Please do take a seat, eh? And may I offer you a drink?

A dry sherry, thank you. You see-

Poirot

Hastings, a little something for you, my friend?

Hastings

Oh, why thank you.

This is a matter of such vital concern to us all that I don't think that I or any of the bank's directors will sleep easily in our beds until it's been sorted out.

Poirot

Well, I must admit that I have not seen it in quite that light but,um... yes, I must agree with you. It is certainly most vital.

You know about the disappearance of Mr. Wu Ling then?

Poirot

Monsieur Wu Ling? [It dawns on him] Ah... Hastings, be so kind as to pour me a little brandy.

Damned nonsense! Damned nonsense, every word of it! Was I or was I not in attendance in this case?

Hercule Poirot

Indeed. All I...

Did I or did I not say the first day I went to see Mrs. Pengelley, gastritis? Yes! Did I ever waver from that diagnosis? No, I did not!

Hercule Poirot

But this is undoubtedly...

This town is a hotbed of gossip. A lot of scandal-mongering old women get together and invent God knows what.

Hercule Poirot

But the fact remains...

They read these scurrilous rags of newspapers, and nothing will suit them better but that someone from their town should be poisoned, too.

Hercule Poirot

But Madame Pengelley...

Why should anyone want to poison her?

Hercule Poirot

Dr. Adams, will you please listen to me?

Why? I'm telling you.

Hercule Poirot

It was yesterday that Mme. Pengelley came to London in order to consult me. She believed she was being poisoned.

Never.

Hercule Poirot

Ah, Hastings, do you hear that? Now I am a liar, hein? Dr. Adams, please, allow me. Madame Pengelley believed that her husband was the poisoner.

Rubbish. I know Edward Pengelley. Wouldn't poison his grandmother's dog.

Hercule Poirot

But it is not the dog of Madame Pengelley's grandmother that has been poisoned! Madame Pengelley believed that her husband had fallen in love with his receptionist.

Fallen in love?

Hercule Poirot

Yes.

Edward Pengelley isn't the sort of man to fall in love. We play golf together. Never been in love in his life. Damn fine dentist, too. I'll be blunt with you, Mr. Poirot. We in Polgarwith don't need you outsiders coming in spreading your tittle-tattle.

Hercule Poirot

All I am trying to tell you, Monsieur le Docteur, is what Madame Pengelley thought.

If she thought that, she must have gone mad. She should have come to me. I'd have told her.

Hercule Poirot

And have all her fears ridiculed?

Ridiculed? Certainly not. I have an open mind, I hope.

You don't know what these small towns are like.

Hercule Poirot

Most of us are selfish, Monsieur Radnor. Not all of us admit so freely. Yes, I will do what you ask but I tell you frankly you will not succeed in hushing it up.

Why not?

Hercule Poirot

Vox populi, Monsieur Radnor. That is why. The voice of the people.

Arthur Hastings

[after Poirot solves the case] There's Japp. I don't know what you're going to tell him.

Hercule Poirot

Nothing at all, Hastings. I hate to be the bearer of bad news. He will learn soon enough that his open-and-shut cases has the broken hinges.