Eddie Díaz quotes from 9-1-1

Buck

So is your full name Eduardo?

Eddie

No.

Buck

Do people ever call you "Diaz"?

Eddie

Not if they want me to respond.

Buck

Something's gotta give. We got Cap, Hen, Chimney, Buck. We can't just call you Eddie.

Eddie

[to Chimney] Can't tell if he's being serious or not.

Chimney

I always like to operate on the assumption that nothing he says is serious.

Buck

What about "G.I.", like G.I. Joe. "Hey G.I.!" You know, that's a great nickname.

Hen

Sounds like "gastrointestinal".

Eddie

Yeah, I don't think so.

Buck

Hey, so is your son really the reason you don't date?

Eddie

That, and...they weren't my type.

Buck

Not mine either. Not anymore. But I'm talking in general.

Eddie

It's complicated when you have a kid.

Buck

Come on, that's a weak excuse.

Eddie

You live in your invisible girlfriend's house and you're telling me about weak excuses.

[sees Hen kneeling over him] Oh hell no. [looks at Bobby] You do it.

Bobby

Sir, I am not a trained paramedic. I can't intubate you, they can.

I'm fine.

Chimney

Sir, you're not fine. Your bowel is probably obstructed. The contents of your colostomy bag are backing into your system. You're about to choke on your own waste. You will suffocate and die.

Get away!

Bobby

Sir, if you refuse care we cannot administer it by force.

[looks at Eddie's name tag] What about him? Diaz. What kind of name is that?

Eddie

My father's from Mexico. My mother's Swedish. I can help you out with the Swedish half but no one told me which half that is.

Bobby

[annoyed] Would you like me to call you another paramedic team so you can have an all-white one?

Hen

He's gonna aspirate.

Chimney

Actual diarrhea of the mouth. Outstanding.

Eddie

What did you need that I didn't give you?

You! I needed a husband and a co-parent. And instead all I got was a life alone in Texas with a baby and you on another continent. I needed someone to have my back.

Eddie

I always had your back.

No. You were in Afghanistan.

Eddie

I'm sneaking around behind my kid's back with his mother.

Buck

Christopher doesn't know?

Eddie

I don't know what he knows. These kids sense things, right? The other day, I made her sneak out so he wouldn't see her there.

Buck

Trying to protect your kid. I mean, she ran out on him, right?

Eddie

I ran out first. I ran out on both of them. See, when Christopher was first diagnosed I was in Afghanistan. Right at the end of my tour. Instead of going back home...I reenlisted. I told myself it was to pay the bills.

Buck

But you were running away, too.

Eddie

Yeah. But I got to pretend like it was for a noble cause and serve my country. But when Shannon broke, nobody thought she was a hero. She just got called evil.

Dad, is Santa real?

Eddie

Is Santa real? Why? Did someone say he wasn't? What do you think? Do you think he's real?

When you were gone, I asked Santa for you to come back, and you did.

Eddie

When I was in Afghanistan? You know, buddy, Christmas wishes aren't like birthday wishes. Yeah. You can say them out loud and they'll still come true.

I asked him to find Mom. Will he?

Eddie

He's sure gonna try.

Eddie

You got your finger in the hole?

That's what we're trained to do. I've seen it before, unfortunately.

Eddie

Me, too. Where were you?

Leatherneck.

Eddie

Ah. I was at Bagram.

Army?

Eddie

Uh-huh.

Nobody's perfect.

Buck

So that's how it's gonna be now. You're just gonna keep on ghosting me. 'Cause Halloween is over, just so you know.

Eddie

I don't know what you want from me, Buck. Forgive, forget, make you feel better about what you did?

Buck

I just want you to talk to me. Even if it's just to say that you're still mad.

Eddie

I'm not mad, I'm... When you decided to sue the department, to make Cap the bad guy, did you ever stop for a minute to think what that could do to us?

Buck

Look, I just needed my job back. I missed...I missed being here. Being part of the team. I never meant for anyone to get hurt.

Eddie

Lotta "I"s in there. Your actions, your choices, they impact the rest of us. That's what it means to be a part of a team.

Buck

You're right. I didn't think about what could happen. I was mad at Bobby for not letting me back. I was mad at you guys for moving on without me. I was mad that there was nothing I could do about it. And I just...I just wanted to––

Eddie

Punch someone?

Buck

Yeah, a little. But I get it. And I really am sorry. Whatever it takes for you to forgive me.

Eddie

I forgive you. Also what it means to be part of a team. This...just don't do it again.

Eddie

It's nothing. It's... I'm fine. Just needed a place to let off some steam. Things got a little out of––

Bobby

Control? That's what this is about, right? You're the guy who always keeps it together, no matter what life throws at you. You shake it off, keep moving forward.

Eddie

Lots of people have it worse.

Bobby

Eddie, I just wanna make sure you don't think you have to lose everything...before you can allow yourself to feel anything.

Eddie

No, Christopher needs me to be in control. I'm the only parent he's got left, and I can't let him down again.

Bobby

When did you let him down before?

Eddie

God, when did I not let him down? I wasn't there when he was a baby. Stayed away too long, and it broke his mother. Shannon ran away, I...and I couldn't stop her. I couldn't bring her back home. So I brought him here. And let her back into his life.

Bobby

That's what Christopher wanted.

Eddie

Yeah, but... but I knew better. She already left once, broke his heart. You know, I was so afraid she was gonna do it again. She did.

Bobby

She died, Eddie.

Eddie

Yeah, after she told me she wanted...a divorce. And I'm...I'm still mad. How stupid is that? I'm angry at a dead person and at myself because I forgave her...for everything, and...and it wasn't enough. I wasn't enough.

Eddie

It's not normal, right? I have these moments that are good. We save someone from dying, my kid does something awesome. It's moments where I should be happy or proud or both. I know that. Just don't feel it.

There's no one right way to deal with trauma. All the first responders I counsel process it differently.

Maddie

And yet you all ask the same questions and press the same buttons. I mean, this is my third session...

You're not finding therapy helpful?

Maddie

I used to. After Doug died, I did it all: talk therapy, group therapy, cognitive processing. Spent six months just talking about my feelings.

I'm sorry none of it helped you.

Maddie

What makes you think it didn't?

'Cause you're sitting in that chair.

Eddie

I remember the drama when my sister was applying to college. Think that's half the reason why I decided to join the army.

Bobby

Well, you tell a 17-year-old kid that their future depends on writing 600 perfect words, the pressure's gonna get to 'em.

Buck

I don't remember what my college essay was about.

Chimney

Why don't you call Maddie and ask her what she wrote for you?

Eddie

It got ugly. After I said I had to work on Christmas, he went straight to his room and wouldn't speak to me for the rest of the night.

Hen

Mm. It's just new. He'll get over it.

Eddie

Abuela's bringing him to my aunt's. I know he's gonna have a great time. He just–– Last Christmas was...special. This one's harder.

Hen

Uh-huh. Is that why you invited us all here? Trying to cram in as much Christmas cheer between now and then?

Eddie

Well, thought it'd be nice to bring the boys together for a play date.

Hen

All three of 'em.