Simon quotes from 7th Heaven

Simon

Ruthie's mad because you're abandoning us.

Matt

I'm not abandoning anyone. I'm going to college!

Ruthie

Mr. Martin can bite me.

Simon

Where are you learning words like that?

Ruthie

Around. I have ears, you know!

Simon

Well, if anyone hears you talk like that, this cleanser's going to end up in your mouth.

Ruthie

[after dropping a book] Darn it.

Simon

You and your mouth are treading a mighty fine line, sister!

Ruthie

Don't worry, it's almost out my system, I can feel it.

Simon

Just in case what isn't better?

Ruthie

My morning sickness.

Simon

Oh, give it up already.

Ruthie

MOMMY!

Eric

Simon, be nicer to your sister. This isn't easy on her and she's just a little girl.

Simon

You say it like it's a weakness or something.

Eric

You know, maybe your tummy will be feeling better by lunchtime. Mommy's always is.

Ruthie

Give me an extra paper bag, just in case it isn't.

Simon

Just in case what isn't?

Ruthie

My morning sickness.

Simon

Oh, give it up! You're not sick, you're not tired, and you're not fat. You're just trying to get attention.

Ruthie

MOMMY! [runs upstairs]

Simon

Yeah. Whenever they're hurt, they run to Mommy, even when Dad is standing right there.

Ruthie

You know the person guts I hate? Bobby Tripp. I hate the guts inside his guts, and the guts inside those guts!

Mary

Our little neighbor? Why do you hate him?

Ruthie

Because he saw my underwear on the swing and he won't shut up and say he's sorry!

Simon

Well, if you think about it, there's really no way he could shut up and say he's sorry.

Ruthie

Don't make me crawl over that seat and sock you!

Matt

Once the twins are here, our lives will never be the same. They're gonna need lots of attention and quiet, and once they're here, they're here. Forever.

Ruthie

What if we don't like them?

Matt

Well, having a baby is kind of like rolling the dice in Vegas. Sometimes the odds are really good, and you win big.

Simon

And sometimes, you crap out.

Simon

Are you crying?

Johnny, my old boyfriend, broke up with his girlfriend. Actually, the girlfriend broke up with him.

Simon

So you're breaking up with me?

No, I'm not breaking up with you. That's the problem.

Simon

Good, I don't think I can go through another breakup so early in the school year. Wait, then what is the problem?

Johnny. He's gonna come after you. I just know he will. He's like that.

Simon

When you say "come after me," exactly what do you mean by that?

Simon

Hey, excuse me.

Oh, hey, little buddy, am I in your way?

Simon

It's not buddy. it's Simon Camden. Are you Johnny?

So you've heard of me. That's good. Have you heard that this is my girlfriend, Deena?

Simon

I believe that's "was" your girlfriend. Deena was your girlfriend. She's my girlfriend now.

We'll see about that, buddy. I'll see you later.

See what a jerk he is?

Simon

Don't worry, I can take care of him. Piece of cake.

Look, Mighty Mouse, stay out of this or I'll take you out of this.

Simon

Take me out of this?

[makes a gun gesture with his fingers] Get it?

Simon

You're gonna shoot me?

Yeah, just when you least suspect it, you're gonna turn around and find a .38 special pointed right at you. [chuckles] Yeah, I just might do that. You're gonna have to look over your shoulder everywhere you go.

Ruthie

I'm not drinking coffee, I just stole it for him.

Simon

[to Ruthie] Thanks a lot.

Annie

Simon! [grabs the phone from Lucy] Goodbye, Jordan.

Lucy

I had to call him to tell him I couldn't call him.

Annie

[to Ruthie about her gum] Come on, spit it out. [to Simon] You, no coffee. [to Ruthie] You, no gum. [to Lucy] And you, no phone. Got it? Good.

Eric

Getting ready for the babies is kind of exciting, but it's scary too. Don't you think? Having two new people in the family will be a pretty big change. It's just been the seven of us for a while. Concerns? Thoughts? Fears? Anybody?

Matt

We know the drill, Dad. Two of you will leave for the hospital, and four of you will come home.

Simon

We've done this before.

Ruthie

I haven't, but I can follow along.

Ruthie

Babies, babies, babies. You'd think they never even saw a baby before. The way everyone goes ooh and aah if they even poop. It's not fair.

Simon

Forget it, that's not going to change, what has changed is my luck and I've got to change it back. Did you answer that chain letter or not?

Ruthie

One to Simon Camden, one to Master Simon Camden and one to Senor Simon Camden. That's Spanish.

Simon

You can't give me back my own chain letter. You're supposed to send it to three other people. The idea is to keep the chain going or bad luck will befall you.

Ruthie

Bad luck already befalled on me the day the babies were born.

Simon

Ditto.

Eric

Do you find find it odd that God talked to him and told him to come see me?

Simon

No. You do a pretty good job most of the time. Why wouldn't God recommend you?

Simon

The Tooth Fairy doesn't hex. The Tooth Fairy grants wishes. Good wishes.

Ruthie

The Tooth Fairy is branching out.