Earl, can I borrow your paper? I wanna check my horoscope to see if I'll still be a whore in the future. All right, who wants to go first?
Ooh, do me! Do me! Do me!
Can we have one night at the diner that doesn't end with you yelling that at a woman?
All right, I'll go. "Gemini, the Twins." And they're both doing fine, so let's move on. Han, what sign are you? I'm guessing the 40-year-old Virgo.
Max, you don't need that paper. I'll tell you what's in your future: Using my name as a reference at Chipotle.
You guys really believe in that crap? They just tell you what you wanna hear. "You will be rich. You will be famous." You'd think I'd buy a newspaper if it said, "You will be a 75-year-old cashier"?
More from this episode
All quotes from this episode →More 2 Broke Girls quotes · These quotes come from Wikiquote's 2 Broke Girls pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.