Young Sheldon · Season 1
[first lines]
I'd like to tell you a story about a time I was right. Yeah, now I'm sure you're thinking. But, Sheldon, you're never wrong. And you'd be right. But it's worth taking a closer look at this particular incident because it began with a loaf of bread and ended with me and my family almost being kicked out of the United States of America.
You love this country!
I love this country!
I'm pregnant.
You gotta be kidding me.
I need to become a Jewish person.
Are these hot dogs kosher?
What are you doing here?
I got called to the principal's office.
So did I! What, you do something wrong?
Not that I'm aware of. Did you?
I hope not.
Maybe it's good news.
Sheldon, you ever been called the principal's office for good news.
Never.
Oh.
My man.
When was the last time you washed your hands?
I'm running for class president.
You know that Veronica Duncan girl?
The one that Georgie likes?
Yeah. I was thinkin' about havin' her stay here for a couple days.
Wh-, is it Georgie's birthday or somethin'?
No! She's just havin' a rough time at home.
[takes a sip of his beer] What's goin' wrong?
Her mother's boyfriend has a drinkin' problem, and things have been gettin' out of hand.
You waited 'til I had a beer to tell me this story, didn't you?
You always have a beer.
What's this? "Connie Tucker is proud to announce that she is sweet on Dr. John Sturgis and they are officially a romantic couple." Oh boy. I'm back in business!
[final lines]
Cheers.
Cheers.
Why can't you read who won in the newspaper?
I could say the same thing about the Super Bowl, but you still watch it.
He got you there.
[radio static]
How's it going, baby?
I don't think anyone's showing up, not even Tam.
I'm here.
Yeah, but you're my mom. You live on the premises. At least Dr. Sturgis should be here any minute.
Shelly, I'm afraid Dr. Sturgis isn't coming this morning.
Why not?
He isn't feeling well.
Oh, dear. Should we send him a get well card?
I think that'd be terrific.
Good morning and welcome to the Royal Swedish Academy of Sciences.
The announcements are starting.
You want me to stay?
Uh, The Academy has concluded its meeting and we are ready to announce this year's...
I'll be in my room if you need me.
As usual, I will read the announcements first in English, then in Swedish, then the citation in German, French, and Russian. And this year's Nobel Prize in Physics is awarded to...
Come on, neutrinos.
...Henry Kendall, Jerome Friedman and Richard Taylor for the discovery of quarks.
A primary feature of quarks is that they're always bonded together, but in that moment, I felt like a neutrino, destined to be alone forever. Thankfully, I was wrong.
[final lines]
[Sheldon and Mary both think the other might have some mental health issues]
You think *I* have mental problems?
Well, not "problems". I'm just worried about your future. And when I see you moving sub-atomic particles around in the air, that makes me...
Sub-atomic particles are real! You talk to an invisible man in the sky who grants wishes. If anyone's mental, it's you!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Young Sheldon pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
