Xavier quotes from Xavier: Renegade Angel

You were a hit! Everyone loves you now. You even have a girlfriend.

Really? Is he disabled?

Okay, Thursday night is Mailroom Monday. We just got our new shipment.

What do you do if the cops come knocking?

We toilet-flush the drugs.

Let's stay one step ahead of the cops. Flush them now.

I like. One step ahead of la policia.

I gotta go make water.

Spray it, don't say it.

If my dad found out I was using science to help him with his Christian Science, he'd be crushed. Promise me you won't tell him about all this. Daddy can't ever know about my lab. He thinks science is evil, and the Lord heals all.

How does he explain the fact that his own son's legs make me want to puke all over them?

Um, he never says that.

You need to move on from losing your father back there. You need closure.

Closure?! The explosion hasn't even ended yet!

Does anyone know how to get to the lake?

Does anyone know how to get to the lake?

Do you know how to get to the lake?

Do you know how to get to the lake?

Does anyone know how to get to the lake?

Oh no! I'm heading right towards the Cyclone.

Does anyone know how to get to the lake?

Can you tell me how to get to the lake?

How are you going to get there? By car?

I'm driving right now.

Okay. First, you're gonna wanna get in your car. Then, you're gonna wanna start your car.

A lot of people get half-way to the lake and they realize they forgot to start their car.

What?

I'm just joshing you.

That's just lake humor.

Uh, I'll find it myself.

Man. I'll never sell these arrows.

Where are my babies? Where are my babies?

Keep it down, lady, we got families around here.

Aaaah, have you seen my babies?

I'm poppin' a peek at a smokin' babe right now.

I lost seven of my babies!

Tragic, I've got septuplets myself. I don't know what I'd do if I lost them. Good thing I'm a responsible parent. You should try it sometime.

The wise elders taught that resorting to violence will never change a person on the inside. In conflict you must rip your opponent a new asshole in his consciousness. Soon his mind will be open to all truth. All hole, no ass.

But, Master, you can't punch someone with your mind.

(gives Young Xavier a board) Hold this board.

(with a bloody nose) Idiot. He totally missed the board.

Silly, pain is a myth made up by poor people who don't want to work! Tears are as real as a unicorn's horn! I've got a unicorn's horn belt! Let's play a board game... I'm bored... I win! What's my prize? Where are you hiding my prize?!

Your prize is up here.

How long you been standing there, you freak?

What are you, a Chinaman?

I wish I knew myself.

We don't cotton to strange Chinamen with no sense of self who stand secretly by for indeterminate amounts of time. Gonna put you in a world of hurt.

Take that! Taste the pain!

I'm going to have to go back in time and find who did this painting, and what it means. But how?

(repeats) Every cigarette takes 17 minutes off your life.

(repeats) Every slice of bacon takes nine minutes off your life.

Can you dumb it down a notch?

If you smoke and eat bacon fast enough, you can go back in time.

My husband. He only does 'cause he love me.

No. That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. Maybe he does it because you're stupid.

Maybe.

Well, if that's love, I'd like to make some love (shakes his fist) to his mouth.

Whoopsie-doodle, there was a mix-up at the cookie factory! We made the cookies way too big and the chocolate chips b-b-b-blue?!

My God! No one deserves a mix-up that bad! I've got to help those poor bastards.

Clumso the cookie chef really popped a boner into these yummy snacks! Blue chocolate Whoopsie Doodles, available for a limited time only!

So you admit it is your fault. You kill off the corn mutants, I stay back and protect the womenfolk. Oh!

Society is about to end, girl, and it's up to us to start repopulating the planet.

I suppose.

Who did this to you guys?

Our...son. (He dies.)

I know it was arson, Dad, but who did it? Daddy! I shall avenge thee!