So you're just going to leave me in that thing? Like some guy caged up like some animal?
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
One man's trash is another man's feng shui. That's why I left that pool of yellow water by the southeast door.
"Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving." - Erma Bombeck
How many innocent babies have to survive before we put an end to this senseless nurturing?
How did you scale that giant wall? That's impossible. Are you secretly some sort of magical other worldly entity? Cause I'd tell you if I was.
I'm the worst brother ever.
Worst brother ever? Did you ever convince the other siblings in your litter to eat your own sister because she was born with no eyes? Cause I did that.
Do I have a spare d**kfor? What's a d**k for?
There's a war out there, Ryan, a war between dogs and babies...and you brought it to our door step.
You're at war with babies? Over what?
Why do any great civilizations go to war? To see who's cutest.
"Be here now." - Ram Dass
KKevin
Warner's gonna join us whenever he feels like it. That's one of the things about being rich; you get to treat everybody else like shit. I can't wait.
There's darkness everywhere, Ryan. You just can't see because the sun is such an attention whore.
Wipe that smirk off your face and listen to this Kant.
Jesus, put down the bong and pick up a book.
So when Jenna leaves the house and I can't see her anymore, she doesn't cease to exist, she's just somewhere else? No, no, no, no. That's just crazy.
Read a book or something
A book? Yeah right. Maybe if it had pictures...that moved...and sound...and Matt Damon in it...and in the middle of the movie Matt Damon'd be like (makes gun noises)...now there's a book I'd like to read.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Wilfred pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.