Wilfred quotes from Wilfred

Wilfred

[appearing to Ryan as a man in a dog suit, rather than an actual dog] Very nice. Some sofas it is impossible to get comfortable on.

Wilfred

It's anxiety. Jenna's been away too long. She's a goner, I'm sure of it. She's probably choked on piece of lego or something

Wilfred

[to Ryan] When was the last time you ever felt this good? It's called living, mate. Trust your instincts. No more doubt. No fear. Welcome to your new life.

Wilfred

[to Ryan] Everything has to do with everything.

Wilfred

[referring to an Indian neighbor] It's not like I was gonna bite her. Last time I had Indian, it gave me the shits for a week!

Wilfred

A bone? That's like giving a basketball to a black guy.

Wilfred

Kristen's always busting balls. Why doesn't she try licking them?

Wilfred

Now that I've met Raffie, how can I go back to bear? I mean bear did put me through obedience school, but does that mean I have to be unhappy for the rest of my life?

Wilfred

Sneakers is no one huh? Do you usually buy priceless jewelry for no one? Imitation, colored glass. Plastic painted to look like metal. This isn't some cheap made in China knock-off. This is made in Taiwan. You bastard! Keeping another dog on the side are ya?

Wilfred

Ryan, anger is like herpes. You're not meant to keep it to yourself.

Wilfred

Ryan, remember when I told you a few weeks ago that you are a total pussy? Well I just wanted to apologize for not emphasizing that enough.

Wilfred

For a guy who once tried to kill himself, you don't have a whole lot of compassion.

Wilfred

Turn your back on the pack, and the pack will turn on you. Any dog would tell you that.

Wilfred

What did you do with my hair? I distinctly remember leaving it right here, all over the place.

Wilfred

I swear, it's like as soon as you take the dick out of Bears mouth it's just blah blah blah (making a talking hand gesture)