Ryan What are you doing?
Wilfred I'm writing my will. After I'm gone, I don't want you and Bear fighting over my shit. Or any of my other stuff.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
Ryan (concerned): Who are you? What are you? WHY are you?
Wilfred (whispering/preoccupied): I can't tell you.
Why not?
Wilfred (whispering): They are listening.
Ryan (confused): What?
Wilfred (serious): Are you sure you want to know?
Yes. Is this a joke?
It's not. Ryan, remember the night before we met, the pills you took?
Yes.
They worked mate.
I'm sorry Ryan. They worked. Must have noticed things here are, different. Shit's a little off. Right?
Ryan (wispering/totally worried): Am I...?
No. You're somewhere in between. Your future depends on the outcome of that settlement, meeting, tomorrow. If Jenna gets her job back, you get to move on.
So none of this is really happening?
Everything on the island is real, the rest is an illusion.
Ryan (speaking up): What island?
Ah, forget that last bit.
Ryan (screaming): Wilfred!
Shh. Smoke monster!
I've seen Lost, Wilfred.
What did you think of the ending?
Ryan (annoyed): Why can't I get a straight answer out of you?
Come on, Ryan. These are big existential questions, best left for boring Russian novelist and teenagers on acid. Real people don't think about this shit.
Very clever, Ryan.
Figured out my plan, didn't you?
No. But if you think I'm just going to stand by and watch you...
Wilfred (childishly): Bubbles!! One, two, three...
This is nothing compared to some of the shit you've pulled.
Yeah, but you're not me! You're a good person! And you're a person!
I know why you're here now, to stop me from slipping down that slope. Please Wilfred, I need you to pull me back up.
I hope you're proud of yourself Ryan. I'm gonna be up all night licking Jenna's tears. Do you know what all that sodium's gonna do to my blood pressure?
I don't know what you're up to Ryan, but I've got my nose and ears on you...and my eyes too, I guess, but frankly my vision's pretty shitty.
Ignorance is 9/10 of the law.
That's possession.
She wasn't charged with possession Ryan. I thought you were a good lawyer.
"Discontent is the first necessity of progress." - Thomas Edison
EDr. Eddy
It's not your fault. It's not your fault. It's not your fault.
Wait, that's from Good Will Hunting. Holy Shit, you're Robin Williams.
Apparently for the better part of three months, I was sitting in a coat closet getting baked with a dog.
Do you know why dogs dig?
Because they're searching for bones?
Because we're searching for truth.
It said "wake up," which is weird because I read somewhere that people can't read while they're dreaming.
"Some of us think holding on makes us strong, but sometimes it is letting go." - Herman Hesse
You see what it says there? Participant. Do you think they give one of those to every dog who takes part in the competition?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Wilfred pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.