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Wilfred quotes

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Wilfred
All S1

S1 E15Unfinished Business

We get it, Beans. We all know you got tasty balls. No need to flaunt it. Jesus, is there no limits to this guy's arrogance?

Oh typical. Won't even shlob this guy's nob to help a friend get steroids. You selfish prick.

I have a strict policy against taking any drug that's not illegal. They're never strong enough.

Drew says that it helps you achieve maximum core rippage.

That's just the kinda rippage I need.

See what I did there? I got super tired, stopped running, and started dry heaving. I've gotta not do that.

You know what, I don't get it. I've calculated my facial proportions and I'm 94% symmetrical, which according to the index is borderline hot. And I dressed up this boring old lab coat with a quirky Japanese robot pin, so you know I'm fun. And everyone in the office already knows I am a total sex addict.

I remember you, Ryan. Memory is like the Packers when they're behind by two touchdowns in the fourth quarter...it comes back.

Those idiots wouldn't know adorable if it cornered them in a holding cell and raped them with a plunger handle. That reminds me; Bear could you pick up a plunger before our next date night?

JJeremy

If those clowns come up with a cure for lung cancer it is going to be a sad, sad day.

I'm an office dog. It's my duty to entertain and amuse, and if I can't do it they'll bring in some foosball table who can!

These quotes come from Wikiquote's Wilfred pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.