Whose Line Is It Anyway? quotes

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear oh me

I seem to have a Rubik's c-u-b-e

Don't know how to do it, I wish that I was dead

I can't get the blue and the yellow on the right or even the red!

(audience starts clapping)

Please stop clapping, it puts me off my stride!

I don't want to do this cube 'cos it's so wide!

It's ten inches long, I know what to do;

At least with the red and yellow, I've made the blue!

When I was a young boy, I had a Rubik's cube

But that was before I discovered good YouTube

If I'd stuck with the toy I'd probably be a banker

But instead I spend my time on the net, and now I am a wanker!

La la la la la la la, la la la la laa

La la la la la laa, Rubik cube

La la la la la la la, la la la la laa

River Danube!

(about Animals)

Hey. Feel GAY!

I went to the zoo, walked down the street,

Opened the door, and guess who I should meet?

A tiger came, and bit off my Head,

And now I'm gonna walk back home again.

It's the animal rap.

I like animals, I like Pekinese,

I like them a lot, cause their stupid knees.

I like everything, I like a snake,

And it.. I don't, if it's a fake.

(talking out of time with beat) Yeah um, oh...

I find it rather hard to get to fuck bitches,

So I tend to spend my time counting sheep.

Um, I've got, ah, plenty in my bedroom, um, one on the walls,

Um, one in bed and one curled up on my lap.

I like the Man from U.N.C.L.E, like the Man From Atlantis,

But I like to make love to a praying mantis,

Get down on your legs, down on your feet,

And go after those sheep till they bleat bleat bleat.

I said damn.

Oh yeah.

Feel good!

Oh y... Sorry, I'm enjoying this too much.

I like to go hunting, there's no denyin',

I like to stick my gun into a big lion.

I'd like to get down with a big fat sheep,

I'd like to do something else, and then go to sleep.

I like all sorts of animals, especially cats,

I like them if they're thin, I like them if they're fat.

I like other animals, I like a dog,

But one thing I wouldn't do with a dog is snog.

(speaks out of time... again) I once went to bed with a baby llama,

But it didn't matter 'cause he didn't tell his mamma.

I then went to bed with a bird from Carolina,

But it did matter 'cause it was a minah.