Neal Caffrey quotes from White Collar

Neal

[about Diana pretending to be an escort and being 'auditioned'] What were you gonna do if I hadn't come in?

Diana

[puts a strawberry in Neal's mouth while sitting on his lap] I would put this strawberry in that guy's mouth, take him up to my room, put a gun between his ribs, and tell him to sit tight, or I'd arrest him for solicitation.

Neal

[pause] That is really sexy.

Diana

Yeah.

Neal

I love a good art heist.

Peter

Solving a good art heist.

Neal

That's what I said.

Peter

Mmm. Ever been on a campus?

Neal

Not as a student.

Peter

And yet you have three MBAs and two doctorates.

Neal

Clearly something's wrong with the system.

Neal

[holding his cell phone] Do you mind? I have to call Mozzie.

Peter

Are you sure Mozzie didn't do it?

Neal

[confidently] Yeah.

Peter

Why?

Neal

Slash and grab. [Peter is still confused] The frame's too high?

Peter

Oh.

Peter

Where's the little guy?

Neal

Mozz!

Peter

You two can fill me in from the beginning back at the Bureau! [walks away angrily]

Mozzie

He wants me to go to the Bureau?

Neal

Yeah, Mozz, if you want the FBI's help you have to go to the Bureau.

Mozzie

Do you know what they do to guys like me at the Bureau?

Neal

[pulls up his pant leg to show his tracking anklet] Yeah, Mozz, I do.

Sara

Nothing’s changed. I’m dead. And the city looks the same.

Neal

As far as the world knows, you’re no longer in it, but it keeps turning

Sara

What do you want from me, Caffrey?

Neal

Who says I want anything?

Sara

I do. You’re a con man. You smile for a living. And you’re smiling at me right now, so I know that you want something.

Neal

All right. I would love… For you to pass me that fortune cookie. You first.

Sara

Apparently excitement and intrigue follow me. How about you?

Neal

I make delicious soups.

Sara

See you caffrey.

Neal

[sarcastically] So happy to have you back in my life.

Peter

Neal, this is John Deckard from the Marshals' office.

Are you sure it's necessary to bring him [Neal] in?

Peter

Neal, how long did you evade the U.S. Marshals?

Neal

Well, technically, they never found me. You did.

Peter

If anyone knows about evading arrest, it's Neal Caffrey.

Neal

I think you missed your calling. Tiny cup, big office, expensive suits?

Peter

Ugly mugs are fine.

Neal

Don't fight your instincts, Peter. Embrace your true self.

Peter

You done?

Neal

I can keep going.

Peter

You're done.

Peter

[to Neal] You're a liability, you're benched.

Neal

You can't pull me off this, Peter.

Peter

I can do whatever I want with you.

Sara Ellis

A prince, huh?

Neal

I've been a prince.

Sara

When was that?

Peter

Yeah, when was that?

Neal

I came back to New York...

Peter

Kate was gone.

Neal

She learned something from me, cause she disappeared. I started running big cons. I guess I was trying to get her attention.

Peter

Well, you certainly got ours, Steve Tabernacle.

Neal

You knew about Steve?

Peter

We knew a lot of things...

Neal

I missed you. And I lied to you about a lot of things. But I never lied to you about loving you.

I believe you. I love you too.

Peter

Neal Caffrey, you're under arrest.

Neal

I know. Thank you. I never would have found her [Kate] without you.

Peter

It's my pleasure.

Neal

So you guys were all in that municipal van out front. That's gotta be uncomfortable.