(as the Dying Informant) Hey! Could I get a towel?
Oh, yeah. Could we get a towel for this fine, brave, young man, please?
(Tons of towels get thrown all over Scott)
Thank you.
You're welcome. Hey, listen, that was a nice job, by the way. Really nice.
(He helps Scott up)
Careful. Don't catch colds.
Need a towel?
Uh, no. We have plenty. Thanks.
(Scott throws his towels to him anyway)
All right. Thank you, anyway.
(He dumps the towels onto the floor)
Scott, ladies and gentlemen.
(Applause)
Greg?
Yes? Yes, Chief?
In my office pronto.
Okay. All right, I'll be right there. Doesn't seem like she's really herself. Lemme, uh, go check in her. You guys just hang tight right here. Uh, I'll be right back. (enters the office) Chief, what's the matter?
(in tears) I've begged. I've pleaded. I've cajolled. I've done everything to get this investigation moving!
But, Chief, listen, you hafta be kinda easy on 'em. I mean, they are rookies. And...
Oh, I know that. But you don't understand. See, it's my reputations on the line here. Headquarters-- They don't care about those kinda things. They just want results! (voice breaks) And if I don't find Carmen Sandiego, they're gonna take my job away. I need a Kleenex.
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh. Here, here, here, here. (hands the Chief a Kleenex) Here, here, here. Right here. Right here. It's okay. I'm s-- I didn't realize it was gonna get you this upset. (tries to comfort the Chief) I mean, they're just rookies, and I...
Don't touch me.
I'm sorry, but I didn't--
Stop!
Yes, ma'am. (to the Gumshoes) Listen. If you guys really care about the Chief, you've gotta pull together right now! Okay, come here. (he walks up closer to the camera) I'll make a deal with you. All right? If you find Carmen Sandiego, I'll give you a chance to go on a trip to anywhere in the lower 48 United States!
(the audience cheers and applauds)
Huh? All right.
Greg.
Yeah, Chief?
Greg, isn't that bribery?
Oh, no, we're calling it incentive.
Oh, that's all right. Uh, Greg?
(walks up to the Chief) Yeah, Chief? Yes?
Go away.
Yes, ma'am. (he exits the office) All right. Listen very closely. Gumshoes at home, we're trying to find the Contessa, who has taken the Queen Mary. If we do that, we'll be able to get Carmen Sandiego, and possibly a trip. I need your help. Matter of fact, I need everybody's help. Crew, are you behind me?
YEAH!
Rockapella, are you?
Sean, Scott, Barry, and Elliot: YEAH!!
Audience, are you behind me?!
YEAH!!!
Well, all right, then! Let's do this thing! Come on, let's do it!
(says something in Italian) I'm so seasick!
You don't have time to be sick now! They're on to you! Hide the ship in a bay, the one with the highest tides in the world. Up to 70 feet.
Oh, no! Please! My stomach can't take it!
Set your course northeast, to the inlet between Nova Scotia and New Brunswick. And take a bromo.
Next time, I take a plane!
More from this episode
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