That monster could be anyone. The sheriff thinks they only exist behind the walls of this school. The truth is, there are monsters everywhere. And sometimes the monsters we least suspect are the most dangerous. They don’t need teeth and claws to terrify. They hide in the shadows until no one is looking. And then they strike. But I’m looking now. And I won’t stop until I find the truth.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
[To Thing, lying in one of the body storing shelves in the morgue] Five more minutes. I was just getting comfortable.
When I suggested giving your side of the room a makeover, I did not have Ted Bundy’s Pinterest in mind.
Still not as creepy as your stuffed unicorn collection.
Thing and I may have made an unsanctioned trip to the county morgue to copy the files of the monster’s victims.
Okay, there are so many levels of Ew in that statement, I don’t even know where to begin.
XTXavier Thorpe
Aren’t you pumped about disco balls and spiked punch? There’s even a DJ. MC Blood Suckaz.
I’d rather stick needles in my eyes. [pause] I’ll probably do that anyway.
[to Eugene] Listen, people like me and you, we're different. We don't need these inane rites of passage to validate who we are. We're original thinkers, intrepid outliers in this vast cesspool of adolescence.
[to Eugene as they prepare to explore the monster's cave] If you hear me screaming bloody murder, there's a good chance I'm just enjoying myself.
[flashback to 1990] I don’t know what to say, Gomez. Seeing you in handcuffs, accused of murder; I’ve never loved you more.
Oh, how we missed those accusing eyes and youthful sneer.
GAGomez Addams
How are you, my little rain cloud?
I thought Thing was filling you in on my every move. I uncovered your feeble subterfuge almost immediately.
GAGomez Addams
So, how’s the little fella doing? Does he still have all his fingers?
Relax. I haven’t snapped any of his digits. Yet.
Since I've been here, I've been hunted, haunted, kidnapped, and the target of attempted murder.
GAGomez Addams
[proud and delighted] Ah, Nevermore! I love you so!
[to Gomez] You taught me how to be strong and independent. How to navigate myself in a world full of treachery and prejudice. You are the reason I understand how imperative it is that I never lose sight of myself. So as far as fatherhood goes, I would say you’ve been more than adequate.
[Wednesday is digging up Garrett Gates's grave, with Morticia watching]
Ahhh, this reminds me of when you got your first grave-digging kit. You were so happy, you nearly smiled.
In case you’re wondering, I don’t hold séances very often. I can barely tolerate the living. Why would I want to commune with the dead?
Sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt your… Do I even want to know?
I was reaching into the black maw of death to contact a relative.
Feels very on-brand for you.
I think we're a lot alike.
We aren't. I don't need your help or you pity. I already have a mother and a therapist.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Wednesday pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.