Dan, Ben and others in “Unfinished Business”

Dan

Sir?

Ben

Yes?

Dan

The HIV girl.

Ben

Yes?

Dan

The one that the president mentioned in the CBS interview.

Ben

Yes?

Dan

Alright, well, some people on Reddit put the details together and now the whole town knows who she is.

Ben

Fuck! You know, I preferred when the Internet was just AltaVista and that little Star Wars kid! Did we definitely out this girl?

Dan

Yeah.

Ben

Shit!

Dan

Only her doctor and her principal knew, now parents are keeping their kids home from school 'cause they don't want them to, quote, "catch AIDS."

Ben

Oh, there's a town with no Gay Pride parade or a goddamn library!

Bill Ericsson

Where did this data come from? How did we get her medical records, and why didn't we ask her parent's permission?

Ben

Oh thank you, Question Man! You've just saved the entire city! Or did you?

Mike

This is catching fire like a gas station in a Michael Bay movie.

Dan

What's our line here? Do we tell the president?

Ben

No! She's gonna panic! We gotta find out more facts, aright? Bozos, disassemble!