Kathleen
You have a girlfriend yet?
Jake
No, I'm a bachelor like my Uncle Charlie.
Linda
So you're never gonna get married?
Jake
No, as long as I got someone to clean my house and some action on a regular basis, I don't need a wife.
Mandy
Excuse me?
Jake
I don't want to give anybody half my stuff.
More from this episode
More Two and a Half Men quotes · These quotes come from Wikiquote's Two and a Half Men pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.


