Albert Rosenfield quotes from Twin Peaks

Albert Rosenfield

There's an epidemic of multiple gunshot wounds following this chick around. She is a menace.

I'll talk to her. Maybe she'll confess. Turn herself in.

Albert Rosenfield

[sarcastically] Maybe she'll grow wings and join the circus.

Gordon Cole

ALBERT, WE'RE HEADED TO THE BLACK HILLS OF SOUTH DAKOTA.

Albert Rosenfield

The Black Hills? Seriously?

Gordon Cole

AS HAPPY AS THIS NEWS MAKES US, ALBERT, WE CAN'T PUT THIS ON THE RADIO.

Albert Rosenfield

Perfect. I've been dying to see Mount Rushmore.

This is what we found in his trunk: cocaine, machine gun, dog leg.

Albert Rosenfield

What, no cheese and crackers?

Gordon Cole

APOLOGIES IN ADVANCE FOR ALBERT.

Gordon Cole

Albert. This business that we witnessed today with Cooper... I don't like it.

Albert Rosenfield

No.

Gordon Cole

Something's wrong.

Albert Rosenfield

Yes.

Gordon Cole

It could be the accident. But I don't think so.

Albert Rosenfield

No.

Gordon Cole

Albert — that sound you just made with your feet on the concrete, it's like a knife in my brain.

Albert Rosenfield

I'm sorry, Gordon.

Gordon Cole

Albert! This thing is turned up to the max. Please.

Albert Rosenfield

[quieter] I'm sorry, Gordon.

Gordon Cole

[referring to Cooper's double] I don't think he greeted me properly, if you take my meaning.

Albert Rosenfield

No, he didn't.

Gordon Cole

I think something is very wrong.

Albert Rosenfield

Yes, it is.

Gordon Cole

Albert… I hate to admit this, but I don't understand this situation at all.

Albert Rosenfield

I know.

Gordon Cole

...Do you understand this situation, Albert?

Albert Rosenfield

...Blue rose.

Gordon Cole

It doesn't get any bluer.

Gordon Cole

HOW DID IT GO?

Albert Rosenfield

Not well. I said, "Hello Diane." She said, "This is about Cooper, isn't it?" I said, "Maybe." She said, and I quote, "No fucking way."

Gordon Cole

OH.

Albert Rosenfield

I was at home, dripping wet, on the verge of pneumonia, 15 minutes later. How was your evening, Chief?

Diane Evans

Can I smoke in here?

Gordon Cole

SMOKE? ASK MACKLEY WHEN HE GETS BACK.

Albert Rosenfield

Smoking's bad for you. [Diane gives him a withering look] I know. "Fuck you, Albert."

Diane Evans

That's right. Fuck you, Albert.

Albert Rosenfield

Diane, we know your work with Agent Cooper has given you more than a passing insight into the Blue Rose. Even though you're no longer a part of the bureau, we'd like to deputize you.

Gordon Cole

ON A TEMPORARY BASIS, BECAUSE WE REALLY NEED YOUR HELP.

Diane Evans

What's in it for me?

Albert Rosenfield

Some cash. Not much. Maybe the satisfaction of learning what happened to your friend Cooper.

Diane Evans

Let's rock.

Albert Rosenfield

Tammy. Case number one. This started the whole thing. 1975. Two young field agents investigate a murder in Olympia, Washington. They arrive at a motel to arrest a suspect named Lois Duffy. They hear a gunshot outside her room and kick the door in. They find two women inside, one on the floor dying from a bullet wound to the abdomen. The other holds a gun, which she drops as she backs away when they enter. They recognize the wounded woman as Lois Duffy. She speaks her last words to them: "I'm like the blue rose." She smiles, then dies, then disappears before their eyes. The other woman screaming in the corner, they now notice is also Lois Duffy.

Hmm.

Albert Rosenfield

By the way, Lois Duffy did not have a twin sister. Then while awaiting trial for a murder she swore she didn't commit, this Lois hangs herself. Those two arresting officers were Gordon Cole and Phillip Jeffries. Now, what's the one question you should ask me?

What's the significance of the blue rose?

Albert Rosenfield

And the answer?

Hmm. Blue rose does not occur in nature. It's not a natural thing. The dying woman was not natural. Conjured. What's the word? A tulpa.

Albert Rosenfield

Good.

Albert Rosenfield

You okay, Gordon?

Gordon Cole

[holding his revolver] I COULDN'T DO IT, ALBERT. I COULDN'T DO IT.

You've gone soft in your old age.

Gordon Cole

WHAT?

Albert Rosenfield

I said, you've gone soft in your old age.

Gordon Cole

[softer] Not where it counts, buddy.

He electrocuted himself by sticking a fork in a wall socket.

Albert Rosenfield

That's strange even for Cooper.