So tell me, buddy. What did you learn about being a man on the inside this time around, man?
Dad, not this shit.
Not shit, Rick. I'm talking about your soul. And we're going to Midnight Mass tomorrow night too, boys, by the way...
No...
Way it goes! What did you learn about being a man?
Mostly just family stuff. I mean, well, a man is...is supposed to...always be thinkin' about stuff about his family and for to make himself to do things that are gonna good-er the family up-around and good-er it up. And that is what is a man.
Yeah. Yeah, no, you're--you're--you're right. But did you ever wonder why a smart guy like you is on this earth, Rick? Smart guy with a good soul, a guy who shouldn't be in jail?
Dad, don't be dissin' jail. Seriously. Don't fuckin' diss jail.
I'm not dissing jail, Rick. I'm not dissing jail, buddy. I'm talking about your spirituality here, okay? Come on, spirituality!
Dad, I write letters every year. You know that. I mean, I'm sending a letter off to the big guy tomorrow. So, it's taken care of. Done. No problem.
Huh?
The letters... You and Mom got me to write them every year at Christmas. I'm sending one off tomorrow again.
To Santa Claus, Rick?!
Yeah, the big guy.
The big guy?! The big guy? That's God, Ricky.
Yeah, God. That's what I said. Santa.
Ricky, come on. You know Santa and God aren't the same guy, right?
Dad, you didn't know that? I mean, think about it! How would he get around the world in one night? Of course he's the same person. Right, Bubs?
No, Ricky. Santa and God, that's two different things.
What...?
Oh my fuck! You know, I did maybe think that I fucked that up. I wasn't sure, and I didn't want to say anything just in case Santa was God. Like, it would obviously, probably, wouldn't it piss him off that I got that mixed up like that?
Ah, Jesus Ricky!
But it'd piss him off!
Well, yeah, Ricky, but... Man!
You never mixed that up?
No!
Bubs, you never mixed that up?
No, Ricky, I've never mixed that one up. Ricky, wait now. Were you counting on Santa to bring presents to Trinity?
Yeah. What, Santa's not coming now?
No! Rick, no.
Well, that's fuckin' bullshit! Well, I've got no presents! What am I supposed to do? I need presents for Lucy and Trinity!
Great! Christmas is fucked!
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