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S14 E2

Top Gear · Season 14, Episode 2

“November 22nd, 2009” quotes from Top Gear

17 quotes · page 2 of 2

“November 22nd, 2009” · Season 14, Episode 2

In this episode: Jeremy Clarkson (13), Richard Hammond (11), James May (7)

[commencing the "range test", with the Stig's vegetarian cousin at the wheel]

James? How long, realistically, are you expecting that to keep going?

Well, I've topped up the genny tank, so that's eight hours on the generator, and that fully charges the battery as well, so you get another hour out of those, just the batteries.

[we see Vegetarian Stig at the wheel, wreathed in a thick cloud of diesel generator exhaust]

So realistically, you're looking for nine hours of running.

Yeah.

[title card: THIRTY FIVE MINUTES LATER]

[the car is stopped and emergency crews are trying to revive Vegetarian Stig]

What's happened there is...

Well, the Stig's died.

[reading the issue of Autocar magazine in which the Hammerhead i-Eagle Thrust is reviewed]

Um... it says it the ride and handling section where they deal with things like the chassis, "that to all intents and purposes the Hammerhead i-Eagle Thrust has no ride or handling as such, instead it lurches around almost uncontrollably."

[audience laughs]

Oh, God Almighty. No, it gets worse. OK, they say that in the Highway Code, they say that the stopping distance from 70 miles an hour is 215 feet, but our car stopping from 30 miles an hour took 506... 549 feet.

[audience laughs]

Well, who's really going to do that in the real world?

It's ridiculous.

[reading] "The styling is unlikely to win fans amongst those of us blessed with the gift of sight."

[audience laughs]

########!

What do people who review cars actually know?

Exactly.

I mean, think about it for a minute: the car turns up, it's delivered, it's free, they haven't had to invest any money or time or any of that; they just drive it around for a bit, then they—

[scornfully] Car reviewers, hmph..

—write rubbish!

Anybody can criticize. Try making something and then reading things like: "Try to regain front end grip by braking and the fronts will simply lock, at which point you will crash." That could hurt sales!

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