[TC gets the horse on the S.S. Africa, which departs for its namesake]
[tearfully waving goodbye] He was a good horse, a real nice horse. And he so loved to have his picture taken... and I don't even have one of him.
Top CatThere, there, Benny, it's all right. That horse is out of here and we're in the clear. And it's all for the best. Your horsey will be all right in Africa, meeting its distant relatives like zebras, camels, llamas... OH NO!
[the horse climbs on port, having jumped ship and swum back]
[sees Top Cat opening the fire hydrant from his car] Now what's Top Cat up to? Tampering with a hydrant, huh? [stops his car] Top Cat, what's going on?
Top Cat
[sends a gush of water out of the hydrant] There she blows!
[the gush of water sprays in Dibble's face, filling his car up with water]
Hey, like, it's Officer Dibble!
Uh-oh! He ain't gonna like that!
[Dibble mouths "That Top Cat" in his water filled car]
Top Cat
Choo-Choo, come on, come on, let's get those trash cans emptied.
Top Cat
Of course, all of them. What do you think we are, sloppy or something?
Top Cat
Come on, fellas, come on. That captain will be here any minute. These guys expect me to do everything.
Top Cat
Oh no. Nobody could be that stupid.
Top Cat
[angry] I take it back. He is that stupid.
[the gang is being chased by mobsters]
Top Cat
We'll get some police protection!
How? There isn't a cop in sight!
Top Cat
That's what you think, there's always one behind a billboard! [he proves his point by driving behind a billboard and chasing out a startled cop]
Top Cat
So we return the scarab back to the museum and everything will...
[interrupting] But what about Shirley, T.C.?
Top Cat
Shirley? Shirley who?
The Shirley who I gave the jade scarab to.
Looks like we'll have to, like er, snatch the scarab from Shirley.
Yeah, and unsnatch it back to the museum.
But, er, that'll be dangerous.
Top Cat
I know. There'll be police and nightwatchmen and burglar alarms but I think we can handle them.
That part's easy. Who's gonna handle Shirley?
[walking through the snowy alley and wearing a hawker box] Step right up, folks! Who's next? Only five cents apiece, and they're going fast! Step right up and form a line, folks! Hey, T.C.? This is your last chance!
Top Cat
[looking out of his trash can] Look, Benny, can't you see I'm busy freezing? What are you doing out in weather like this anyway? And what's my last chance?
Your last chance to buy a frozen Fudgsicle!
Top Cat
Sorry, try me next summer. [Slams lid, then looks out again] Frozen Fudgsicle? What are you, some kind of a nut or something? Benny, I realize you never finished kindergarten, but certainly you know that nobody sells frozen Fudgsicles in the winter.
That's just it, T.C. No competition. I'll clean up! [lick's Top Cat's toes]
Top Cat
[laughs] TICKLE SPOT!
Top Cat
Ok, Fancy, hit the breaks.
Hit the breaks, will you, Spook?
Yeah, the breaks, Chooch.
Quick, Brain, the breaks.
Top Cat
[sarcastically] That's what I like about you, Brain. You think of nothing.
Top Cat
[angry] Do me a favour, Brain. Don't tell anyone I know you.
[Dibble reads the note found with the baby]
Top Cat
Okay, Dibble, you satisfied?
Alright, so he was abandoned and you found him. Now hand him over!
Top Cat
But Dib, we were going to adopt the kid ourselves!
Are you kidding? YOU guys?
We'll take care of him, honest! Chooch knows how to handle diapers!
Oh, sure, pal. And what are you going to teach him, roulette?
We could take him to night school and put him through some courses...
Sorry, fellas. There's laws about recovering lost property and abandoned kids come under that heading.
Top Cat
[poking Dibble] But...
We take the kid in and find him a new home.
Top Cat
[poking Dibble] But...
Furthermore, before you can adopt a baby you have to be shown as a legal hardworking citizen, with a regular fixed income!
Top Cat
Oh, boy...
[loudly] Now will you cut out the stalling and give me the kid?
[the baby starts crying much to Benny and Choo Choo's horror]
Now you did it, now you woke up Charlie.
We named him you Officer Dibble.
Top Cat
Yeah, Dib. We figured you might want to be the kid's godfather.
No kiddin'. That's real nice, you guys. But the baby's got to be taken in. It's regulations. [walks off] Come on, let's go.
Top Cat
[leaning against the fence] Okay, Benny. Dibble's gotta make his pinch for the day. At it might as well be someone he can handle. Give him the baby.
Gee, I wish I could be tough and hard like T.C. He's got nerves of steel. Nothing upsets him.
Yeah, he's one real cool cat, man.
Top Cat
Hey, Benny...
Top Cat
[weeping softly] You got a hanky I can borrow?
[to the amazement of the gang, Top Cat wipes his face on the handkerchief]
Top Cat
Well? What's the matter with you guys? Haven't you ever seen anyone with something in his eye before?
[offscreen] Sure we did, T.C. But not you.
Man, ain't this heat a gas?
Top Cat
Where were you?
Like, I was making the public library scene.
Top Cat
You were reading a book?
Well, like, I was faking it, but this book is so far out, I got hooked. What a crazy, mixed-up story.
What was it about, Spook?
Well, it starts out about an aardvark and ends up with everybody playing the xylophone.
Top Cat
What's it called?
"Under a Bridge with Dick and Harry."
Top Cat
"Under a Bridge with Dick and Harry?" Let me see that. [looks at the book] That's "Unabridged Dictionary"! What's the matter with you? That's nothing but words!
Oh, I thought it was kinda freeform.
Top Cat
Well, stockholders, you requested a clarification of our company's position, so have a look. [the line goes up and down until it reaches the ground] We'd be even lower, but I ran out of room. Gentlemen, I hate to shake you up, but by now a depression would be an improvement.
[clapping his hands] Here, here!
Top Cat
As board chairman, may I move that the gentleman from the west side shut his yap?
Top Cat · 56 quotes
