“July 17, 2010 - Wild Guitar” quotes from This Movie Sucks!

If you're wondering how a guy that looks like this wound up being the star of a movie, well, it kind of helps when the guy producing the movie is your dad. It's what's known as the Tori Spelling method.

Well, you can tell it is not modern LA... they would have run him over.

Look Liana... comic relief.

Allegedly.

You know what fifteen cents will get you now in LA?

What?

A punch in the face.

Well, you know what she's thinking. Wow, poor, from out of town, a musician... this will really piss off daddy.

Besides, I'm blonde and this is Hollywood. I'm just going to throw it up anyway.

I don't understand this, why do people go to LA with no money?

Here's what I don't understand, why does his love interest look like she could be his mom?

Why are women who run diners all called "Marge"?

It's kind of an official title, like when you run a ship you're called "Captain".

At one point in America's history, this was considered dancing.

At one point in America's history, this was considered sexy. Of course, at the same point in American history, this was also considered "filler".

Now it's just the after effects of a Tazer, or the auditions episodes of American Idol.

It's more like The Gong Show

That's a bit of a dated reference.

This movie isn't exactly current.

This is awfully long.

What would you rather see: Her dancing or this guys big melon?

Will our hero become an overnight sensation? Or will his giant head and hair ignite the studio lights and cause a massive fire?

Hey, just like our show... minus the audition.

Believe it or not, there was a time when music like this made it on the radio.

Not quite like this.

I love the depth of his lyrics, he's practically another Kurt Cobain.

Kurt Cobain's lyrics were his last priority.

That's what I mean.

All right, I have listened to enough, fast forward.