The X-Files Season 6 quotes

Scully

You know what's weird?

Mulder

What?

Scully

Mulder, she's wearing my outfit.

Mulder

How embarrassing.

You drink? Take drugs?

Mulder

No.

Get high?

Mulder

No.

Are you overcome by the impulse to make everyone believe you? (Mulder looks surprised) I'm in the field of mental health. I specialize in disorders and manias related to pathological behavior as it pertains to the paranormal.

Mulder

Wow. I didn't know such a thing existed.

My specialty is in what I call soul prospectors - a crossaxial classification I've codified by extensive interaction with visitors like yourself. I've found you all tend to fall into pretty much the same category.

Mulder

And what category is that?

Narcissistic, overzealous, self-righteous egomaniac.

Mulder

That's a category?

You kindly think of yourself as single-minded but you're prone to obsessive compulsiveness, workaholism, antisocialism... Fertile fields for the descent into total wacko breakdown.

Mulder

I don't think that pegs me exactly.

Oh, really? Waving a gun around my house? Huh? Raving like a lunatic about some imaginary brick wall? (Mulder looks over at the brick wall in the doorway) You've probably convinced yourself you've seen aliens. You know why you think you see the things you do?

Mulder

(like it's obvious) Because I have seen them?

'Cause you're a lonely man. A lonely man chasing paramasturbatory illusions that you believe will give your life meaning and significance and which your pathetic social maladjustment makes impossible for you to find elsewhere. You probably consider yourself passionate, serious, misunderstood. Am I right?

Mulder

"Paramasturbatory"?

Most people would rather stick their fingers in a wall socket than spend a minute with you.

Mulder

All right, now just, uh... Just back off for a second.

Spend every Christmas this way? Alone?

Mulder

(confident) I'm not alone.

More self-delusion.

Mulder

No, I came here with my partner. She's somewhere in the house.

Behind a brick wall? (Mulder smiles and nods) How'd you get her to come with you? Steal her car keys? (Mulder's smile fades) You know why you do it - listen endlessly to her droning rationalizations. 'Cause you're afraid. Afraid of the loneliness. Am I right?

Mulder

I'd just like to find my partner.

I think maybe the ghosts have been playing tricks on you.

Scully

I don't believe in ghosts.

Then what are you doing here?

Scully

It's my partner.

He believes in ghosts?

Scully

Yeah.

Oh, you poor child. You must have an awful small life. Spending your Christmas Eve with him... Running around chasing things you don't even believe in.

Scully

Don't come any closer.

(coming closer) I can see it in your face... The fear... The conflicted yearnings... A subconscious desire to find fulfillment through another. Intimacy through co-dependency.

Scully

What?

Maybe you repress the truth about why you're really here pretending it's out of duty or loyalty-- unable to admit your dirty little secret. Your only joy in life is proving him wrong.

Scully

You don't know me.

I hope you're not expecting any great advantages to all this.

Mulder

To all what?

I'm assuming you came here with similar misconceptions.

Mulder

We came here looking for you.

Oh, yeah? You didn't come here to be together for eternity?

Mulder

(chuckling) No.

Because you're filled with despair and woeful Christmas melancholy?

Mulder

Why?

(sighing) Maybe it was your partner then.

Mulder

(folding his arms) What about her?

You knew this house was haunted.

Mulder

Yeah.

Maybe you two should have discussed your real feelings before you came out here. I'm speaking from experience.

I don't show my hole to just anyone.

Mulder

(grimaces, looks away) Why are you showing it to me?

The bodies under the floor - maybe that was just some kind of Jungian symbolism. Or maybe... there's a secret lovers' pact.

Mulder

(sighs; smiles) We're not lovers.

And this isn't a pure science. But you're both so attractive and there'll be a lot of time to work that out.

Scully

I, uh... I couldn't sleep. I was, um... (sighs)

Mulder

(puts his arm around her shoulders and pulls her in to the apartment) Come in. Aren't you supposed to be opening Christmas gifts with your family?

Scully

Mulder... None of that really happened out there tonight... That was all in our heads, right?

Mulder

(unsure) I-it must have been.

Scully

Mmm. Not that, uh, my only joy in life is proving you wrong.

Mulder

When have you proved me wrong?

Scully

Well... Why else would you want me out there with you?

Mulder

You didn't want to be there?

Mulder

(self-analyzing) Oh, that's, um... That's self-righteous and... narcissistic of me to say, isn't it?

Scully

No, I mean... Maybe I did want to be out there with you.

Mulder

(they look at each other for a moment) Now, um... I know we said that we weren't going to exchange gifts but, uh... I got you a little something. (holds out a present to her - the only wrapped gift shown in the apartment the whole episode)

Scully

Mulder...

Mulder

Merry Christmas.

Scully

Well, I got you a little something, too.

Scully

(on phone) Mulder, we are supposed to be doing background checks, not chasing X-Files.

Mulder

(on phone) Scully, Spender just round filed this case - it's unconscionable.

Scully

And what do you call rooting through his trash?

Mulder

Like that's any different from the assignment we're stuck with.

Scully

"We," Mulder? I'm stuck with it. You're not here.

(annoyed) I want those kids out of my car.

Mulder

(cheerfully) Okay, speed racers. That's enough driver's education for today.

Agent Mulder, welcome to Kroner. I'm Jim Gilmore, the mayor. We spoke on the phone.

Mulder

Nice to meet you, sir.

If I'd have known you was bringing the missus, I would've arranged for fancier accommodations.

Scully

(professional) I'm Agent Scully, Agent Mulder's partner. I'm... sure the accommodations will be just fine.

Scully

Well, sir, if this man Mootz could, in fact, somehow produce rain then what's the crime?

I believe Daryl's causing the drought... so he can charge folks for the rain.

Scully

And this is what you told Agent Mulder when you spoke earlier?

Yes, ma'am. He seemed real eager to help us.

Oh! We were beginning to worry that you wouldn't make it. Is this your first time in a TV studio? How exciting. I couldn't be happier for the two of you.

Scully

I'm not su-

(runs over to get Holman, then brings him back to them) Holman, I'd like to introduce you to the Gundersons.

Holman

(shaking their hands) Congratulations! I hope you have a truly romantic getaway.

Aren't you glad you watch Channel Five weather?

Scully

(showing badge) We're Agents Mulder and Scully. We're with the FBI.

FBI? Oh, my goodness! I thought you were the "Watch the Weather and Win" contest winners.

Holman

See, we haven't had any rain in months and... well, people tend to blame the messenger.

Oh, there's the Gundersons. Over here!

Mulder

(smiling at Scully) It's like looking in a mirror.

Mulder

How do you explain your unique ability?

I don't. It's complicated.

Mulder

Try me. I watch the Weather Channel.

If you're wondering did I ask for this gift no, sir, I did not, no more than I asked to lose this here limb. But I should've expected it and I'll tell you why. Because I come from a long line of healing people. I'm a spiritual man, in touch... with the really real. The... the unseen real.

Oh, miss, we moved your boyfriend's things into your room.

Scully

He's my partner, and we prefer separate rooms.

Oh, old-fashioned are you, huh? Well, we're booked solid with the high school reunion. You can take it or leave it.

Mulder

Scully, I don't think it's a coincidence that a cow gets hurled at me just as we're down here investigating the weather.

Scully

(checking his scalp and forehead) Mulder, did they check you for head trauma?

Mulder

I'm telling you, that cow had my name on it.