Excuse me while I spend the rest of my life in the attic.
Wow! That must be a pretty nice attic! Er...what?
Lor, don't you think you're being a tad melodramatic?
A tad? More like five tads and sixteen smidgins.
Ugh, I think my stomach just resigned in protest.
I think your cooking may have military applications.
TSTino's Mom
Watch it...
I'm just a fat, ugly, loser.
You're not fat!
FFrances
[dressed as scissors for Halloween] Pointy, pointy.
FFrances
[snickers] I like pointy things...
DDixon
[playing ball] Try to keep your eye on the ball this time, it won't bite.
It's not so much biting I'm worried about as much as bone-shattering impact.
TSTino's Mom
[Tino refuses to leave his room] He said he won't come out until the city's been cleared of its un-holy clown infestation.
Have you seen The World's Funniest Medical Blunders?
I have. Once, this guy swallowed his dentures and when the doctors gave him an x-ray, his kidneys were smiling back at him.
Hello, could you at least knock before you enter my mind?
[watching Carver riding Tino's scooter] Huh, you have pretty good posture for someone without a backbone.
If you need an idea, use your imagination.
I think I sprained mine.
Can I have a map to that sentence?
[Mowing Tino's lawn] Was that a rosebush?
Not anymore.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Weekenders pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.